Author: Mary Emma Allen

 When we mention holidays, we usually think of the more publicized ones.  However, you can develop many family traditions with the lesser known.  The celebration of holidays creates fond memories for youngsters. 

Image: sxc.hu

 Today Groundhog Day when the ground hog may or may not have seen his shadow.  (By the way, why do we always refer to the Groundhog Day critter as “he?”)  Punxsutawney Phil supposedly saw his shadow today and bounded back into his burrow for six more weeks of winter.

When I was a youngster, we enjoyed the stories surrounding Groundhog Day.  We often drew pictures and talked of the groundhogs on our farm.

One family I know hold a celebration including a cake complete with groundhog poking up through the frosting.  Young and older gather for a family meal, some dropping in for dessert and others there the entire evening.

Do you celebrate special occasions with family gatherings and create memories for youngsters?  These may be special days mentioned on the calendar or simply events particular to your family.

Post from: Blisstree

Celebrating Special Family Days

We’re a family of readers and come from families where both parents read avidly. 

Young readers image: sxc.hu

My husband and I were surrounded by books, even though our families didn’t have much money.  However, we were youngsters in the days when TV was in its infancy and video games didn’t exist.  Our daughter grew up in the TV era but didn’t have the electronics of today that her children do.

In spite of the electronics that exist, we all enjoy having a book or magazine in our hands.  My granddaughter uses computer, the Internet, and an iTouch.  But she always has a book nearby to pick up at a moment’s notice.  Our grandson, although not quite the intense reader his sister is, enjoys books, too, and is a fan of graphic novels.

So we haven’t had the problem in our home of getting youngsters to read.  Many families do in these days of electronics, and I often hear youngsters remark, in schools where I substitute teach, “I hate to read.”

Corrin Howe, in the article, Parenting Tips for Reluctant Readers, gives us ten tips for capturing the attention of readers who aren’t so enthusiastic.  These are very common sense and easy to implement.

How have you engaged your reluctant reader in books, magazines and even instructions for games and making items?

Post from: Blisstree

Do You Have Reluctant Readers in Your Home?

Each month I feature a round-up of five of the popular Parenting posts I’ve written at Blisstree. 

Frozen snowy lake image: sxc.hu

 Generally they’ve received attention from my readers.

Here are five posts for January:

Treasure the Moments

What Are Your Kids Posting On Facebook, Etc.?

Is Reality TV Good for Your Kids?

The Plus Side of Family Sit-Down Dinners

Do You Remember Snow Angels?

Did you have a favorite post this month?

Post from: Blisstree

January Round-up of Mary Emma’s Posts

This weekend I attended a business conference and heard Florence Littauer, the author of Personality Plus, and her daughter Maurita speak.  I’ve heard Florence before, but always enjoy learning from her each time.

Children image: sxc.hu

Since meeting her many years ago and reading her books Personality Plus and Personality Tree, I’ve learned much more about my family and others I’m in contact with.  I realized that my daughter and husband are different personalities from me.  My grandchildren each are different and have their ways of thinking and doing things.

Do you know your child’s personality?  This is not to excuse bad traits or actions because “that’s the way they are.”  However, you understand your family members better with you learn the differences and similarities between the Popular Sanguine, Powerful Chloric, Peaceful Phlegmatic and Perfect Melancholy.  No one falls into an exact category.  Most people are a blend, but have some dominant traits that could be entirely different from yours.

Learning about the personalities helps us understand ourselves, too.  Then, in a family, we can be more understanding and patient with one another.  We also will discover our weaknesses or traits we may want to change so that we can better accomplish our goals. 

Have you ever learned about the personalities of the members of your family, as well as your own?

Post from: Blisstree

Do You Know Your Child’s Personality?

My friend, Dallas Franklin, commented recently that her motto for 2010 is, “I expect magic and miracles in my life.”Why not be determined to have “magical” days yourself and teach your children to have this attitude.  So many youngsters I encounter in my work as a substitute teacher seem  unenthusiastic,  discouraged and without goals.  Do they come by this attitude and way of looking at life automatically or is it created, at least partially, by their surroundings and the people they’re in contact with daily, such as family? 

What can we do for ourselves and our children so we/they have “magical” days.

• Make up our minds that we’ll greet the morning with a smile.
• Determine to be pleasant to those around us, whether they are upbeat or not.
• Exercise and try to maintain good health.
• Get adequate sleep.  (My challenges always loom larger when I’m tired.)
• Keep a “thankful” journal and find at least one small item to write in it.  Teach your children to do the same.  Share this, as a family, at the end of the day. 

Look for the magic and encourage your children to do the same.  Then share the magic with others and be a light in their lives.

Magcal moments image: sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Teach Children to Have “Magical” Days

Are your kids playing sports…at school and in the community…for their enjoyment and development or for yours? 

Soccer image: sxc.hu

Are you living through your kids because they have the opportunities to play a variety of sports that you never did, but wished you could?  Did you enjoy playing sports and don’t give a thought that your kid(s) might not.  But they do so because it’s expected of them?

I never really gave this too much thought because my daughter was more interested in the outing club at school rather than competitive sports.  Her daughter played for awhile but figured she’d have more pleasure and character development in other activities.  So we have never been caught up in the fierce competiveness of kids’ sports.

I began to ponder on this topic after hearing a teen remark she’d be glad when she was out of school because she wouldn’t have to play in any games again.  She could do her own thing instead of following her parents’ wishes in the sports area.

Give this some thought…are your kids playing sports because they want to or because you want them to?

Post from: Blisstree

Do You Force Your Kids to Play Sports?

Sledding in winter is such fun, whether on sleds with runners, saucers, plastic toboggans or other downhill gear.

We enjoyed it when I was a child, as have my daughter and grandchildren.  On our farm, we had sledding parties, with friends sliding down the hill in one of our fields.  Then we came into the house for hot chocolate and cookies.

Sledding fun image: sxc.hu

My son-in-law made a path on a hill in our back yard when the grandchildren were younger.  They and their cousins had great fun there.

However, since injuries can occur when sledding, you’ll want to put some safety measures in place. Discuss these with your youngsters so they’re aware, too, that one can get seriously hurt.

• Children should be supervised by a responsible adult while they’re sledding.
• Dressing warmly is imperative, wearing well insulated coats and snow pants.  Also, think gloves or mittens and hats covering one’s ears are important.  If it’s very cold or windy, a face mask is a good idea, too.
• Wear good boots that will  protect your feet against frostbite.  When I was young, our boots weren’t so well insulated, so I did get my toes nipped with cold and suffered for it years after.
• Wearing a helmet is a good safety measure.  Although we never though about helmets when I was young…they really didn’t exist…they have become important for safety nowadays.
• Sit or lay properly on the sled…with your feet pointing downhill.   If you slide head first, you have more likelihood of head injuries, even with a helmet on.
• Go sledding only in safe areas that are designated for this sport.
• Be aware of traffic hazards.  So don’t slide on paths that cross traffic or go near roads.  Also, you want the sledding path to be free from items such as  trees, rocks, poles, fences,  sheds,picnic tables, or vehicles.
• Stay away from frozen lakes, streams or ponds when sledding.  The ice may not be solid there unless it’s been well tested for holding the weight of heavy objects.
• It’s best not to construct and use jumps or ramps for sledding.
• Sledding after dark in an unlighted area can pose safety problems.

These are just a few of the safety tips for sledding.  Check out various web sites for more sledding safety.

• GORP’s Sledding Safety Tips
• Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Safety Tips
• AAOS Sledding Safety

(What’s wrong with the sledder in the above photo, according to safe sledding guidelines?   Not wearing a helmet.)

Post from: Blisstree

Sledding Safety Tips for Safe Winter Fun

Did you make “snow angels” when you were young?  And do your youngsters do it today? 

Snow Angel image: sxc.hu

 Some of these old activities are fun to revive or keep going in the family.

When my siblings and friends got together in fresh, soft snow, we often had snow angel contests.  Lying down in the snow, we moved our arms and legs in fanlike motions.  When we pulled one another up, trying not to disturb the design, we hoped we’d have an angel in the snow, with wide wings and flowing robe.

I saw the this picture in a collection of snow photos.  This brought memories of those younger days.  I also recall my daughter and her cousins creating snow angels in the soft snow before our colonial style home of those years.

Snow Angels also is the name of a movie and a book.

Do you need directions for making snow angels?

Post from: Blisstree

Do You Remember Snow Angels?

One of my friends recently was criticized because she mentioned on her blog that she was a stay-at-home mom rather than stay-at-home parent.  Can’t she be a mom as well as a parent?  It seems this is taking “political correctness” to the extreme. 

Parents & Child Image:sxc.hu

Apparently the blog reader felt stay-at-home dads were being neglected.

However, since the blogger was writing about herself, a mom, and not dads, on this occasion, she certainly wasn’t neglecting dads.  Does this mean people feel slighted if we are gender specific?

Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying, “All that I am, all that I hope to be, I owe my angel mother.”  He didn’t say father or parent; he specifically mentioned his mother and went on to list her qualities.  He probably learned from his father, too.  But not the same as from his mother, who actually was his step-mother, as I recall.

We learn from many people in our lives, but do we have to lump them together?  Can’t we praise each for their own qualities?  Can’t we be a specific person for our children instead of being lumped into a general category?

Our lives have become too concerned about not categorizing people and not pointing out their qualities and talents and contributions.

Let’s be a Mom, a Dad, a Grandma, a Grandpa, an Aunt, an Uncle….not just a person, any person!

Post from: Blisstree

Are You a Mom or Dad or Parent?

I discovered, when caring for my mom with Alzheimer’s and afterwards visiting her in the nursing home, that she enjoyed being read to. 

Reading to Grandmother image: sxc.hu

 She eventually didn’t understand most of the words, but apparently the comfort of someone’s voice, the movement of turning pages, and just having a person near her calmed and pleased her.

She also enjoyed having my grandchildren (her great grands), toddler and kindergarten age at that time, visit her.  Mother didn’t know who they were, but they pleased her with their presence.  Then when my granddaughter, who was beginning to read, sat beside her and sounded words, Mother smiled and tried to say some words, too. 

Part of the enjoyment may have been the attention and the sounds.  Also, Mother had been a school teacher in earlier days and found pleasure all her life in encouraging youngsters to read and learn.  She even did some tutoring after her children were grown.

Reading to Alzheimer’s grandparents, or others in a nursing home, could be a project for your children and grandchildren.  Instead of being a scary place for youngsters (as some people feared), the nursing home was somewhere my grandchildren looked forward to visiting.  They interacted with their great grandmother, as well as joined activities with other residents.

I discovered an interaction between the young and old that I hadn’t imagined I’d find.  Also, this created a sense of family and memories for the children.

Post from: Blisstree

Reading to Alzheimer’s Grandparents

“My 4-year old just loves it,” a young mom remarked to me. 

Fascination of reading image: sxc.hu

She was describing the LeapFrog Tag Reading System, whereby you download specific books into a pen with a camera on the end.  Then as you or your child scans the words in the book, the pen will read to the child.  She said her 7-year old enjoys this, too, and can do his 20-minute reading assignment by first listening to the pen read the book, then reading it himself.

Although this doesn’t take the place of someone reading to the child for a family reading session.  However, the LeapFrog Tag can occupy the child when mom or dad or grandma are busy.  This system also carries audio books one step forward, for the child is learning to recognize words and their sounds as he/she listens.  They also can read together.

What else will they think of in our electronic world?  These don’t take the place of reading to oneself or being read to by a live person.  However, it’s another way to encourage a love of reading in youngsters.

Have you used this system for your youngsters?  Are there other electronic reading systems that you’ve found helpful.  The young mom I talked with was excited about an electronic method to encourage and aid her children in the love of reading.

Post from: Blisstree

Have Your Kids Used the Reading Pen?

This morning, as I drove my grandson to school, we noticed the lovely sunset streaking the eastern sky in pink, purple and gold. 

Sunrise image: sxc.hu

It was spectacular as I pointed it out to Alex, and we marveled at the nice beginning to a day.

For me, noticing the marvels of nature around us is something that carries over from my childhood and a mother who was constantly remarked on these to her children and then her grandchildren.  Sometimes we may have felt Mom was too mundane, that there were more important things in life as we grew into our teen years.  But I find these early beginnings, influenced by my mother, now spread to my relationships with daughter and grandchildren.

They often point out to me…or take pictures with their digital cameras of:

• Flowers in the garden or growing wild
• Animals that visit our yard
• Snow swirling over the birdhouse roof
• Lacy patterns of ice along the small stream
• Unusual bark patterns on a tree
• A stone with layers of color

What do you and your children see when you walk in the out-of-doors?  Even the most mundane can seem spectacular when you take the time to notice and pass this insight along to your children and grandchildren.

Post from: Blisstree

Enjoying the Spectacular with Kids

Writing Image: sxc.hu

My substitute teaching takes me into many classrooms to teach many subjects.

  This year one of the second grade teachers has been out due to illness, so I’ve subbed for her quite a bit.  I’ve been having a delightful time writing with these youngsters.

Now when they see me in the classroom, the students ask if they can write books that day.  The first day I subbed, the teacher had a booklet project in which the youngsters wrote and drew pictures about the weather, after we’d watched a video and I read a book.  (Weather was their science topic for several weeks.)  The next couple of days, many wanted to make more weather books.  I also wrote weather poems with them.

Now when they want to write and illustrate booklets, I check to see what topics we’re studying.  Then, when their other work is finished, they can make books or write poems about it. This week they were contrasting and comparing country and town living in Social Studies, so they made booklets related to this.  It’s exciting for me, as a children’s author, to see such enthusiasm about writing books. 

So…with your own children.  If you need something for them to do, choose a topic and see what they can do with making a book.  I only use two pieces of 8 1/2 x 11-inch paper folded over and stapled.  That way the book isn’t too long and won’t become a discouraging project, especially for second graders.   You can add folded colored paper for the cover and back, if you desire.

At my blog for teachers, homeschooling parents and parents, Mary Emma’s Learning Activities for Tots & Teens, I’ll be posting more writing and reading related activities.

Post from: Blisstree

Writing with Children & Creating Books

Readers have shared with me their thoughts about my post, Treasure the Moments. 

Famly moments image: sxc.hu

I also might call the post Treasure the Moments & the Memories.  For although you don’t want to live in the past, you often are uplifted by remembering those treasured moments.

I’d like to share my reader’s thoughts with you.

Brian wrote: I really enjoyed your sharing this post. I love the word treasure and your writing reminded me of Mary, the mother of Jesus and how Luke described her feelings about Jesus and her moments with him. Luke writes, “And Mary treasured this moment.” Or something similar. I think that’s what life is all about, treasuring moments.

I was excited to read this because it means I’m finding my “voice” and am inspiring and encouraging others.  That is so much what writing is all about…to share, to inform and to inspire.  Treasured moments also can be something you look back upon to encourage you when you’re feeling down.   

Florence mentioned: It’s funny you should say this [talking about treasuring moments]. I have an unpublished post/draft in my blog about making memories with my six year old child, which came about because we were making memories last Sunday.

I hope Florence and others who read this will continue to treasure those moments, no matter how young or old their children are, write abut them, take pictures, create scrapbooks and pass the stories on.

Post from: Blisstree

More Thoughts on Treasuring Moments

Treasure the moments…of each occasion, birthday, holiday, family time spent together. 

Memories Image: sxc.hu

Even when our lives are busy, we need to take at least a few minutes each day to realize the uniqueness of our children and grandchildren.  For that moment will never come again.

I fully realized this when our granddaughter was home from college, at our multigenerational house, for Christmas vacation.  Her parents and brother have taken her back today, a 10-hour drive.  We don’t know when the next vacation will be that she can come home.  The distance obscures the logistics, so it isn’t like being an hour away, like many of her high school classmates are.

Yes, we have phone, instant messaging and Skype or ooVoo so communication is better and more frequent than when I was in college or our daughter was.  However, that’s not the same as having her here.

We had to let our daughter go to college…to her own life.  We now have to let our granddaughter, who has lived in our multigenerational household for 14 years, go. 

As my mother-in-law said, when our daughter left for college, “Mary, it will never be the same again.  She will no longer be your little girl.  She’s away from home now and will be making her own decisions.” 

So, I treasured those moments we could share with Kara during the Christmas holidays, even though she was working parttime and off with friends and her brother at other times.  There were family good times, too.

So…what can you do?

• Take pictures
• Make videos
• Write journal entries
• Make a scrapbook
• Blog

Post from: Blisstree

Treasure the Moments

“Big Brother” is watching…as you discipline your kids. 

Child image: sxc.hu

 In today’s world of modern electronics (cell phones with cameras and videos, iPhones, Blackberrys, etc.), your activities and discipline with your children in public can easily be recorded, shown to authorities, and/or posted on the Internet.

You find so many “experts,” who may not think as you do in disciplining kids.  Your verbal expression, your actions and your activities with your youngsters might not meet with their approval.

So….they decide to play the “expert” and record you.  No matter that this is an invasion of privacy.  No matter that they don’t have all the facts.  If what you’re doing is different from what they think they would do, they find it a heady expression of importance in recording you, even reporting you.

Yes, there are instances when a child is in danger.  But other times, the situation may be one for which the observer doesn’t  have all the facts.

What do you think should be done if a child is throwing a tantrum in public?  If you’re a parent, you’ve probably had to deal with this and may or may not have yourself reprimanded.

Post from: Blisstree

“Big Brother” Is Watching…

What are your kids posting on Facebook, Twitter or other social groups?

Is it family business, private family matters, their intimate relationships, spats with siblings or others,  in addition to their achievements and joys?  It seems that these Internet chat places reveal more than one really wants to know about their friends’ and relatives’ private matters, especially on a public forum.

Computer Kid Image: sxc.hu

This is the game “Gossip” in a much larger scope than simply whispering around a table.

Do your kids realize that these postings are up there for the world to see?  Even though they may have designated this be seen by only a closed group of friends, the gossip and postings spread.  It’s not like confiding in that one special friend or sibling whom you generally can trust to keep your woes and business to themselves and be the sounding board when you need one.

But when you use the world as a sounding board you expose yourself and also make yourself vulerable.  When you post about “dirty laundry, clean laundry and that in between,” you’re keeping noting secret.

You also give the impression that you’d not be a good friend or confidant. You’d write about another friend’s secrets.  You’d write about dissatisfaction with an employer or co-worker.  You might even post confidential information about a business your worked for.  You might give out confidential information to news sources.

When I see someone posting confidential information or “spilling their guts,” I wonder if an employer will think twice about hiring them or offering them a business opportunity.  They may not be looking for a job today.  But what about down the road?

Will someone think twice about entering into a relationship with that person if they’ve seen intimate posts concerning previous relationships or friendships?

What your kids, or you, write on the Internet can come back to haunt you/them.  It also might haunt you, if they write about family matters and finances.

What do you think?  Is it up to parents to become knowledgeable, set an example, and inform their kids about the choices they’re making?

Post from: Blisstree

What Are Your Kids Posting on Facebook,etc?

Apparently a new reality TV season is about to begin. 

family tv time image: sxc.hu

Families seem to become glued to their television screens during these shows, bemoaning the fact if something takes them away that evening and they can’t watch the moment the show becomes live, even though they can tape for later use.

What do these shows teach our kids?  Are they displaying back biting, meanness, competition without ethics?  Even when there is team effort, we’re often shown name calling and ugliness, instead of friends and family helping one another.  The nastier the relationships between the contestants, even within families, the higher the ratings. 

So do you want your children to hold up the participants in these shows as role models?  Do you want them treating siblings, friends and strangers the same way?

Perhaps  there are some reality shows that point out the goodness in people.  However, in general, it would appear that the current batch of these shows bring out the worst in people and judges.

What’s your opinion?

Post from: Blisstree

Is Reality TV Good for Your Kids?

Another reader shared her experience with colored hair and left the comment below. 

Exotic hair image: sxc.hu

I’ve begun to realize that if we “go with the flow,” as long as kids (and adults) aren’t causing themselves and others harm, life will be more of an adventure.

I had to laugh when I saw the post, If Your Grandchild Has Weird Hair Color. I am a 54- year old Granny, who STILL expresses herself through hair and other things. A few years ago,I had burgandy hair for at least 10 months, and loved it. I have always let my grandsons express themselves, because they will turn out ok, if you don’t make a big deal about it. I am a registered nurse, not some nut case, so I figure if I am ok, they will be too!!

One time my youngest came out of the bathroom, with hair looking like a tornado went through it, and my YELLOW garden shoes on, enroute to lunch with me at a local diner. I told him,”if you have nerve enough to wear it, I have nerve enough to take you.” He did, I did, he never did again…he was just testing.

It is ok to let them be kids, they will grow up soon enough.

What do you think?

Post from: Blisstree

More Weird Hair Color Opinions