Author: Mary Emma Allen

Happy New Year’s and may 2010 be a happy, healthy and successful year for all of my readers and their families.

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 Are you set for a year of adventure, a year to realize your dreams and goals?  Have you written down your list of dreams and things you want to accomplish?  It’s been proven that you’re much more likely to achieve them if you write them down and look at them every day.

What fun for a family activity for each one, children and adults, to discuss this, then write down their goals for the year.  You even can draw or find pictures to accompany them.  This is a great way to get youngsters to thinking about achieving in their life instead of accepting the status quo.

What are some of your dreams…and the dates you’d like to achieve them?

Something like:

• Live in a castle with secret rooms.
• Write a best selling children’s book.
• Become a well-known fabric artist.
• Build a robot
• Explore
• And….and….and…..

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Happy New Year’s from MaryEmma at Parenting

Each month I feature a round-up of five popular Parenting posts. 

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Here are 5 for December:

Are Pregnant Women Too Exposed?

Should Parents “Tell All” On Blogs?

Privacy No Longer Private on the Internet

If Your Grandchild Has Weird Hair Color

Do Your Youngsters Know About Pearl Harbor?

What was your favorite of my Parenting posts?

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Mary Emma’s December Round-up at Parenting

Holiday vacation stretches ahead of you.  What plans do you have for your youngsters until they go back to school?

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Why not visit your local library with your youngsters?  My grandchildren enjoy going there, even though they’re teenagers. Many libraries nowadays offer programs and opportunities other than the traditional reading and checking out of books.  Most of these programs are free of charge, too.

• Craft programs
• Movie afternoons and nights
• Special entertainers
• Movies to check out
• Audio books to check out
• Books to download
• Book discussion groups for youngsters and adults
• Dressing up as book characters
• Theme days and special programs
• Workshops for writing, blogging, storytelling

You’ll discover this a great congregating place for youngsters to find enjoyable pursuits there and to continue at home.  Most libraries nowadays have a web site where these opportunities are posted.  Also, you usually can subscribe to an e-mail newsletter that keeps you updated. 

What have you found at your library lately?

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Explore Your Local Library During Vacation

Do youngsters (and adults) write “thank you” notes any more?

For Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, acts of thoughtfulness and kindness?  Do they even take time to send an e-mail, Facebook or Twitter thank you?

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The day after Christmas, my mom sat us four children down at the dining table where we wrote “thank you” notes to friends and relatives who had given us gifts.  The same occurred after our birthdays.

There was no need to object.  It simply was what you did…to write thank you notes of appreciation for what you had received.

I’ve taught this to my daughter and she to her children.  Even though they live with us, the grandchildren frequently write thank you notes to my husband and me for gifts and something we’ve done for them.

I know there have been times when we’ve all forgotten or didn’t get the notes written in a timely fashion.  However, I hope these were few and far between.

Most people enjoy receiving a hand written note, even in these days of electronic correspondence.  Doing something is important whether it is:

• A hand written note
• A postcard
• An e-mail
• A phone call
• A text message
• A message on social media like Facebook or Twitter
• A person-to-person thank you
• A card the children or you have made

How you teach your children to say “thank you?”

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Writing Christmas “Thank You” Notes

May you and your family enjoy a joyous Christmas Day with good health and much happiness in 2010. 

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This is one of those days that children anticipate eagerly.  When you’re a grandparent, you’ve experienced this holiday in many types of celebrations with various family groups over the years…from childhood, newly married to new parents, parents of teens, then grandparents of youngsters who, too, evolve over the years.

Christmas, in its many forms, produces a family bond and many memories.  Record yours in a Christmas Journal to share with family and future generations.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

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Merry Christmas from Mary Emma at Parenting

You’re proud of that expanding belly.  You have new life there and are excited over the prospect.  You want the world to know.

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So…you wear the tightest tops and jeans so everyone will know you’re “popping.”

However, is this in good taste?  Would you look more attractive in a flowing top that enhances your joyful state rather than produces a second skin?  There are…or used to be…lovely maternity dresses (an almost unheard of word these days of raggedy jeans), blouses or ample tees giving an elegancy to pregancy that’s missing in the fashion world of tight tops and below the belly bottoms. 

Or is it “old-fashioned” to wrap a gift of life with beauty?

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Are Pregnant Women Too Exposed?

More and more parents are revealing personal details (in words and photos) about their lives, their children’s lives, and their parenting in their blogs and on conversational sites like Facebook and Twitter. 

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Is this because they have too much time on their hands, are bored with life, or want recognition (even if it means sharing a dirty diaper)?  They discuss their parenting errors, their children’s personal activities, and home life.

Will the children be appreciative of all this “dirty laundry aired” in future years?  Will you, at some future time, wish you hadn’t revealed so much?  Will it come back to haunt you? Sometimes when we act impulsively, because that’s the trend, we wish later we’d given more thought to what we did. 

Sharing can be encouraging and inspiring to others, if done with taste.  Humor has its place when we’re not poking fun at others, especially family, friends and colleagues who trust us.  I’ve often written about our family life in articles and columns over the years.  I frequently run an anecdote by the family member to see whether it will embarass them or not.  If they don’t approve, I won’t use it.  There are some incidents I won’t write about because it invades another’s privacy.  There are some family members I won’t mention by name or situation because they’re very private people. 

Also, what are we teaching our children, if we invade their and others’ privacy to achieve a “moment of fame” on the Internet? 

What are your thoughts?

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Should Parents “Tell All” on Blogs?

Tonight I noticed a youngster ( fourth grade age) pushing his sister (kindergarten age) in a shopping cart through the supermarket while the parents waited for service at one of the counters. 

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He wasn’t merely pushing the cart; he was whizzing up and down the aisles, around the vegetable and fruit displays, bouncing the cart so I thought it might tip over. 

Fortunately, as far as I know, he didn’t bump into another customer nor knock anything down.  However, the supermarket, or any store isn’t the place for racing.  I’ve also seen youngsters pushing siblings in the car type carts, each racing down an aisle, trying to see who could get to the other end first.  The moms simply chatted while the race went on.

It’s not always easy to shop when you must take children with you, but are supermarkets and other stores play areas?  Are there ways to control these activities?

Who would be to blame if someone got hurt, either another customer or one of the kids?

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Kids Running Wild in the Supermarket

Gingerbread houses fascinate youngsters, whether the cookie type with frosting and candy decorations or nonedible, made from other materials.  Yesterday, when I substute taught in second grade, we made gingerbread houses from brown paper bags. 

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What fun the youngsters had!

They colored decorative motifs the teacher had copied for them.  Then I stuffed brown paper bags with crumpled newspaper, folded down the top (after cutting off a strip so it wouldn’t be so bulky), and stapling it shut.  The youngsters glued on their decorations (doors, windows, snowflakes, border strips, etc.).  Some cut the doors so they would open and decorated inside, too, after pushing some of the crumpled paper aside.  Others added decorations to the bags with colored markers.

For making cookie type gingerbread houses, you can purchase kits, as my daughter often has for her children.  What fun they had putting these together and decorating them, creating Christmas memories in the process.

To make gingerbread houses “from scratch,” you may want to see if you can find a copy of Gingerbread Houses for Kids by Jennifer Ericsson , a wonderful how-to book for making these creations, with easy instructions for youngsters.

What are your gingerbread house memories?

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The Wonderful World of Gingerbread Houses

There have been pros and cons to youngsters coloring their hair rampant shades and creating unusual appearances.  Some parents encouage this and even participate.  Other parents and grandparents object.  I wrote about this in the post, If Your Grandchild Has Weird Hair Color, and received an enlightening comment from Aimee that I’d like to share.

Just let them do it and enjoy their expression of uniqueness and creativity. Its just

hair. It will grow back if they wish it to. I’m 36 and in the 80’s it was cool to have

colored hair. My parents were Christian  and refused to let me follow the

trend. Oddly enough, now that I’m well into my 30’s and they are no longer extremists,

they both think that my hot pink striped short black hair is cool. If it wasn’t for the

fact that I’m a graphic artist, I don’t think I’d have been able to pull it off, but I am

glad I did. So maybe what I’m saying is that if you just let them do it while they’re

still kids you won’t have a 36 year old with hot pink hair!

What do you think?  Often if you do stress about it a great deal, the youngsters will be more determined to go to the extreme than if you let them experiment, if it doesn’t affect their values.

(Hair color image: sxc.hu)

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Reader Agrees with Kids Coloring Their Hair

When I discussed, in the post, Kids & Grndparents’ Holiday Memories, Ron from GeriCare Finder, shared these thoughts:

Memories Image: sxc.hu

Seniors have so much to offer. They have time, wisdom, energy, and stories to tell. Having grandchildren around is often a great gift for them. This allows for them to speak freely about things they remember from when they were young. Some grandparents may benefit from visiting grandchildren because their memories come back to them when they see the smile of their grandchild. Working the memory is a good thing for older adults.  So the next time you are around Grandma, ask her something about the holiday season when she was young!

We also don’t realize how much we wish we had written down these memories or recorded them in some way.  After grandparents are gone, we don’t recall their stories in enough detail.  However, jot down, in words and pictures, what they’ve told you.  Spend time with grandparents and their memories. 

My daughter has admonished, “Mom, write down your memories…for me and the grandchildren.”

We also can record the present events (which will become memories) by recording them in a journal.  One lady told me she’s compiling a Holiday Journal.  Here she writes down what she and her family do for each holiday.

What about you?

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Reader Shares Thoughts of Seniors’ Memories

When I wrote a post several months ago, about kids having weird hair color and styles, with and without approval of their parents, one grandmother asked what she should do because her daughter styled the grandchild’s and her own hair in unusual colors and styles.

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Generally these are phases that young adults, teens and youngsters go through.  Much has to do with the movies, tv, and current styles they see in magazines and on the Internet.  So much of this goes in cycles.

I’ve noticed this year, in my work with youngsters and teens, that hair colors and styles are getting more normal for the most part.  Youngsters, who may have unusual hair styles (with parental consent or design, when very small) often discontinue these when they’re older.  Whether this is from peer pressure or their own decision not to be so different, I don’t know.  Probably some of both.  Other times they will try something different if their friends are for awhile.

There isn’t much as a grandparent one can do except express your opinion in a diplomatic manner, compliment when you see something you like, make suggestions if you have the relationship where you can, and wait for this cycle to pass. 

What do you think?  What has been your experience?

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If Your Grandchild Has Weird Hair Color

Youngsters usually enjoy the study of weather, reading about it, viewing videos, performing experiments and finding out why things happen, especially violent incidents like tornadoes and hurricanes. 

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 During my substitute teaching recently, I spent three days with a second grade class,  and they were focusing on weather in reading, science, math, art  and writing. 

We read Tomi de Paola’s The Cloud Book and discussed the various types of clouds described.  They drew pictures and did a math paper about clouds.  Then they began making a cloud booklet, using worksheets their teacher had provided.    Some of the students became so enthusiastic, they wanted to create their original cloud booklet when they had free time.

We watched a video on weather, learned about tornadoes and hurricanes, blizzards, frost and snowflakes and weather myths.  (A book we didn’t read, but which I would have used if the teacher had been out longer, is Snowflake Bentley by Jacqueline Briggs Martin.  This is about the man who first photographed snowflakes.)  Some of the youngsters cut out snowflakes, an activity the art teacher also did with them later that day.

I found this unit so interesting that I’m developing  one to use with youngsters when I teach and to provide material for home schoolers.

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Weather Activities for Kids

Do your youngsters give gifts to their pets at Christmas? This was a tradition in my family, when I was growing up, which my daughter also enjoyed with her dog and cat.  The grandchildren find something for whatever pets they have…a rabbit, two hamsters and a dog. The dog even has her own stocking hung with the rest.

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The gifts are food treats or a toy.  But children in our family throughout the years have enjoyed sharing gifts with their pets.  Seeing the dog, who senses there is something for her, ripping the wrappings and tossing the toys usually provides laughter for the youngsters…and picture taking opportunities.

These occasions create more holiday memories for the family, with photos to share in later years with children and grandchildren.

Do your pets enjoy the holidays with you?

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Kids’ Christmas Gifts for Pets

Pearl Harbor Day – December 7

We remember those who fought for our freedoms in World War II, those who gave their lives, those who took several years from their lives, and those at home who carried on when family members were away.  Because of their sacrifices our country remained free.

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Do your children, do you know about Pearl Harbor?  You may have seen the movie, but do you know what this actually meant and still means to families?

This is a good time to learn from older relatives in the family and find our your Pearl Harbor heritage.  My uncle served in the Army Air Corps, and we have some of his letters written to my mom.  We also have a picture album of some of his experiences in the States.  However, he never talked too much about his service on the island of Guam, where he was an aircraft mechanic.

Uncle Al was so proud of serving his country that he wanted to be buried in his uniform when he died.  He kept it for those many years, for he died when he was 84.  He also wanted his medals pinned on for the funeral.  An honor guard draped a flag over his casket and presented it to my mom, his surviving sibling.  We fly that flag at our home and remember Uncle Al.

How are you remembering and preserving your World War II heritage and sharing it with your youngsters?

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Do Your Youngsters Know About Pearl Harbor?

“He’s always so upbeat.  Such a happy kid,” one of my grandson’s high school teachers remarked to me.

This made me realize that we are building attitudes at home.  It’s too easy to be grumpy at home, to air our gripes and disappointments rather than looking for the sunshine.  In our multigenerational home, with its many personalities, it’s sometimes difficult for all of us to be upbeat all the time.

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However, it’s up to us adults to set the tone of the home and help youngsters build their attitudes…hopefully positive and problem solving ones.

• Do the youngsters in your home see you as an overcomer or as someone who lets life get you down?
• Do you find solutions to challenges or simply sit down and worry?
• Do you want your children to follow your example?

What do you do to affect your children’s attitudes in the home and in life?

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Attitude Building With Children

Grandparents have wonderful holiday memories to share with grandchildren if the middle generation (the children) will encourage this rather than considering it simply, “Grandma’s ramblings.“  Even those with Alzheimer’s can contribute to the memory lore.  Sometimes we might say, “especially those with Alzheimer’s”, because those memories become very vivid for them at certain stages of the illness.

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Grandparents’ memories, and those of other older relatives, contribute to the family heritage.  Record them, write them down, compile them in scrapbooks.  Those help children realize who they truly are and help form a family bond.

If grandchildren can work on Holiday memory projects with grandparents, these have special meaning, too.  My mother and mother-in-law shared their memories with my daughter. I encouraged my daughter to take part in it, or at least be a good listener.  We now reminisce about some of the things they did and said, passing them along to my grandchildren.

These memories are somewhat like the oral histories of various cultures, when stories were passed along through the generations by word of mouth.  However, so they don’t get lost in time, make sure you record them in some fashion.  The holiday memories are especially precious.

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Kids & Grandparents’ Holiday Memories

Youngsters can be inconsiderate when it comes to one another’s names. 

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If it’s an unusual name, they might make fun of it.  If an an adult mispronounces it, they may laugh and hurt a tot’s feelings.

I heard one principal handle this very well when youngsters were mixing up two students’ names on purpose.  One didn’t mind, but the other was close to tears.

She had a discussion and mentioned the importance of a person’s names.  She emphasized that each person’s name is special.  This led to a discussion on where the students’ names originated and what they meant.

So they shared whether they were named for a parent, grandparent or other family member.  Was that name a special one for mom or dad?  Did it have a special meaning when defined?  When the discussion was over, the children were proud of their names and realized that each person and their name was special.

I used this same approach in a second grade class when one of the boys was deliberately mispronouncing another student’s name.  This led to the students sharing their names and I shared where mine originated, too.

Do you discuss the importance of family names and why you named your children as you did?

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The Importance of Names

With Christmas and other holidays coming up, creating memory projects could be a fun project for your youngsters.  There are several ways they could do this.

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• Keep a journal and record the various holidays activities that are occurring in the family and at school.
• Take pictures of the various crafts and activities and put these in a slide show on the computer.  So many youngsters are learning how to make slide shows for school projects.  So this could carry over at home
• Print off pictures and put them in an actual scrapbook.
• Make holiday collages with pictures from magazines and write about the holidays on this.  These could be lone collages or be compiled into a scrapbook.
• Find old Christmas cards saved in the family.  Put these in a scrapbook and write something about the memories these evoke.  My grandmother saved hristmas cards for years.  I’m trying to jot down notes about any of the people I know who sent these to her.

What holiday memory projects does your family do?

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Holiday Memory Project for Tots