The avalanche of corporate changes and appointments within GM continues in 2010 as well, as the American manufacturer announced the appointment of John Montford as a senior advisor to GM interim CEO Edward Whitacre and Robert Ferguson as vice president of Government Relations.
"John and Bob are proven professionals who have worked in an environment of intense regulatory and political complexity, Whitacre said about the two. I’ve worked with both through a number of issues ove… (read more)
For European Pre owners, the webOS App Catalog has been something of a cruel joke, as we’re forced to watch our American brethren get all the cool new stuff while we’re left with the dregs. Fortunately that’s about to change: Palm today announced that paid applications would be coming to the European App Catalog in March 2010. Developer Community Manager Chuq Von Rospach waxes lyrical on the Palm Developer Network Blog:
The general app catalog model is not new, but what we’re doing with it is. The Palm developer program extends the unique web orientation of the Palm webOS platform, providing developers innovative opportunities to leverage the web as a promotional channel for applications. We offer greater freedom and choice of how to get your applications to market and unparalleled control to promote and grow your business.
Developers interested in getting their apps into the catalog can find full instructions on the Developer Network Blog. Just remember there’s a global audience out there…
The Guardian reports that north sea countries are planning a “vast clean energy project” – Sun, wind and wave-powered: Europe unites to build renewable energy ‘supergrid’.
It would connect turbines off the wind-lashed north coast of Scotland with Germany’s vast arrays of solar panels, and join the power of waves crashing on to the Belgian and Danish coasts with the hydro-electric dams nestled in Norway’s fjords: Europe’s first electricity grid dedicated to renewable power will become a political reality this month, as nine countries formally draw up plans to link their clean energy projects around the North Sea.
The network, made up of thousands of kilometres of highly efficient undersea cables that could cost up to €30bn (£26.5bn), would solve one of the biggest criticisms faced by renewable power – that unpredictable weather means it is unreliable.
With a renewables supergrid, electricity can be supplied across the continent from wherever the wind is blowing, the sun is shining or the waves are crashing.
Connected to Norway’s many hydro-electric power stations, it could act as a giant 30GW battery for Europe’s clean energy, storing electricity when demand is low and be a major step towards a continent-wide supergrid that could link into the vast potential of solar power farms in North Africa.
By autumn, the nine governments involved – Germany, France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Luxembourg, Denmark, Sweden and Ireland and the UK – hope to have a plan to begin building a high-voltage direct current network within the next decade. It will be an important step in achieving the European Union’s pledge that, by 2020, 20% of its energy will come from renewable sources.
“We recognise that the North Sea has huge resources, we are exploiting those in the UK quite intensively at the moment,” said the UK’s energy and climate change minister, Lord Hunt. “But there are projects where it might make sense to join up with other countries, so this comes at a very good time for us.”
More than 100GW of offshore wind projects are under development in Europe, around 10% of the EU’s electricity demand, and equivalent to about 100 large coal-fired plants. The surge in wind power means the continent’s grid needs to be adapted, according to Justin Wilkes of the European Wind Energy Association (EWEA). An EWEA study last year outlined where these cables might be built and this is likely to be a starting point for the discussions by the nine countries.
A new year, new hopes for the battered American auto industry… With hopes for the better flooding its corporate buildings, American manufacturer Chrysler announced in the first day of 2010 the launch of a new corporate campaign called " Coming Home".
The goal of the campaign, which will feature Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep and Ram vehicles as they came throughout the years, is to "inform consumers, suppliers and partners" that Chrysler is a new, revived, reloaded, … (read more)
Bowl season really is the gift that keeps on giving.
Just as ESPN’s “most wonderful week of the year” ends, so begins the NFL playoffs and the lead-up to the most important bowl of all – the Super Bowl.
NFL playoff matchups are set, and yes, I, too, am appalled that the Jets – a team whose quarterback has thrown almost twice as many interceptions as touchdowns – made it.
Given my success at predicting the World Series champion back in October, I figured I’d take a crack at the NFL playoffs.
But first, here are some storylines to watch as the NFL goes bowling.
A Repeat Affair?
No, not you. Pittsburgh. There will be no repeat Super Bowl champions this year, as the Pittsburgh Steelers nose-dived their way out of the playoff arena.
That doesn’t mean things won’t be repeating themselves, however. This wild-card weekend, three of the four games will feature rematches of week 17 blowouts as Philadelphia takes on Dallas, Green Bay battles Arizona and the New York Jets travel to Cincinnati.
The Eagles, Cardinals and Bengals were all victims of thorough beat-downs on Sunday (in Arizona’s defense, they rested their starters for most of the game). How they respond when taking on the same opponent just a week later could go a long way in determining which teams advance to the divisional round.
Arizona and Cincinnati will have the luxury of playing at home, while Philadelphia will be in Dallas. It is hard to beat a team two weeks in a row, but it is also hard to beat a team that recently embarrassed you, so all three match ups are intriguing.
My predictions for Wild Card weekend: the schizophrenic Eagles’ good side will show up and Philadelphia will take down Tony Romo and the Cowboys in Dallas; Green Bay will have a repeat pounding in Arizona; Cincinnati will wake up, realize Mark Sanchez is terribly unprepared, and beat the Jets; and New England, a shell of the pre-spygate franchise, will lose at home to the fighting John Harbaughs (aka the Baltimore Ravens).
Will Lightning Strike Again in San Diego?
The Chargers have become perennial powers in the AFC, waltzing their way to playoff appearance after playoff appearance.
But just as reliable as the sun rising in the East is the Chargers laying an egg come playoff time.
San Diego is unquestionably the hottest team in the NFL right now, having won 11 consecutive games, but four out of the last five years they have managed to find ways to lose at the end of otherwise bright seasons. To say that there is something hanging over their heads is an understatement.
My predictions for the Divisional Round: San Diego (temporarily) overcomes its propensity for postseason failure and beats Cincinnati; Indianapolis overwhelms Baltimore; Philadelphia stays hot and takes down the recently-reeling and overly-rested Saints; and in the Brett Favre bowl (you’re welcome for not writing about it), Favre continues to exact his revenge against the Packers by leading the Vikings to victory.
Uh Oh, Donovan is in the NFC Championship Again…
Almost as reliable as a Chargers’ postseason choke is an Eagles’ loss in the NFC Championship.
To be more specific, four out of their last six times in the playoffs Philadelphia has lost in the NFC Championship game.
A matchup with mistake-prone Brett Favre and the Vikings would be an especially entertaining war of attrition given Favre’s penchant for throwing crippling postseason interceptions and Donovan McNabb’s inclination to disappear in big games.
That said, it would be a showdown of some of the best (mostly) young athletes in football: Desean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, Michael Vick, Percy Harvin and Sidney Rice, to name a few.
My predictions for Conference Championships: you can exhale, Packers fans – Favre will melt down and the Eagles will win in Minnesota to go to the Super Bowl; and San Diego’s postseason comedy of errors will return as the Chargers drop a sloppy one in Indianapolis.
Rest for the Wicked
One lingering question heading into the postseason is how teams that rested their starters in the waning weeks of the regular season will perform come playoff time. (That’s you, Indianapolis and New Orleans).
History says that resting starters is foolish, although the New England Patriots learned this week why it might make sense when their leading receiver (Wes Welker) tore his ACL and MCL in a week 17 loss to Houston.
If the Colts make it to Super Bowl Sunday, the rest question is moot, however. But if they don’t, Jim Caldwell will be second-guessed more than anyone this side of Grady Little.
Super Bowl prediction: although I am vehemently against resting starters at the end of the season, the Colts will overcome it because they are the best team. Indianapolis 31, Philadelphia 17.
Dan Bohm wants you to give him a piece of your mind. Tell him why he’s wrong at [email protected].
US-based car manufacturer Ford recently announced that it has teamed up with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) to research and develop new driver stress reducing technology that would be based on several types of data collected by in-car systems. The two companies have already prepared a specially-equipped 2010 Lincoln MKS that will be used in various tests for a period of six-months.
"We strongly believe that driving can be made safer by reducing the stress loa… (read more)
“All that we eat, all that we wear, our houses, every comfort, and all our luxuries are brought us to-day by these invisible, but almost omnipotent, genii of the fire and the lamp and the thunder-storm.” That was R. H. Thurston, director of the …
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Eco Factor: New process to convert waste glycerin into biofuel.
High grade glycerin is being used to make products like soaps, but vast quantities of crude glycerin is simply disposed as waste. Glycos Biotechnologies Inc. is now trying to commercialize glycerin-eating microorganisms, developed at Rice University, to convert crude glycerin into fuels and other products.
Have you visited the newly opened God of War III website for Europe? If you’re in the region, of course. If not, you’ve got all the time to do so. And while that’s a treat enough in
http://www.lavieeco.com/economie/154…l-concede.html
Une dizaine de produits représentant environ 10 % de la valeur des exportations marocaines soumis à un prix dentrée.
Les quotas sont améliorés pour la tomate, lail, la clémentine, la fraise, le concombre et la courgette.
The military have their own version of the old green laser pointer prank, one that can blind people 2.5 miles away (even if, at that distance, the blinding is temporary). They use it to hail-and-warn enemies trying to advance.
The weapon—which is technically a “long-range visual deterrent laser device for hail-and-warning applications”—is called the Glare LA-9/P, and it’s quite dangerous, even while it has a security system to avoid eye damage. That’s something that didn’t stop it from blinding dozens of soldier during the current Iraq war, exposed to friendly dazzling. [BE Meyers via Danger Room]
Eco Factor: Low-emission hybrid car.
Toyota has announced that in 2010, its hybrid the Toyota Camry sedan will start rolling off the line in China from its Guangzhou plant. The low-emission hybrid vehicle is already being produced in Japan and the United States and recently in Australia as well.
With final exams over, it was time for the women’s basketball team to get back down to business. The holiday season may have been a nice, relaxing break for most students, but it was far from that for this team, with six grueling fixtures over three weeks.
Kayla Pederson has been having a fantastic season for the Cardinal, who went 5-1 over Winter Break.
“I’ve never played a stretch of games like these games,” said senior Rosalyn Gold-Onwude. “I like the way [Head Coach] Tara [VanDeveer] puts it…it’s like the [NCAA] Tournament in December.”
Half of the Cardinal’s games were against top-10 teams. Stanford went 5-1 over the stretch, losing only to No. 1 Connecticut.
To kick off their “break,” Stanford faced the DePaul Blue Demons, followed by the No. 7/8 Duke Blue Devils. These ominously hellish-sounding teams could not, however, break the Cardinal’s unbeaten 8-0 run this season, losing 96-60 and 71-55 respectively.
The Cardinal continued with a tough stretch against Tennessee (67-52 win), Connecticut (80-68 loss), and a non-conference season finish at Fresno State (68-46 win). It then began Pacific-10 Conference play against rival California (79-58 win).
The first two games were physical challenges for Stanford, with DePaul and Duke recording 20 and 23 team fouls, respectively the team had to battle for possession all over the court.
The DePaul game saw senior Jayne Appel pass the 1,000 rebound mark, becoming only the third Stanford player to do so. With 22 games left in the regular season, she is well on target to break the 1,143 record, but it’s not what she, or the team, really cares about.
“I think it’s cool, but I’d rather win a national championship,” Appel said. “[This statistic] doesn’t really have any big reference, kinda in and out of my head.”
The Cardinal continued its solid play against Duke. It was not a flawless performance, and though both teams had periods where they seemed to be gaining the momentum and outplaying their opposition, the Cardinal grinded out the win.
“[We] just stayed with things,” said Coach Tara VanDerveer, “even though sometimes it wasn’t pretty. To me it was a heavyweight fight and I’m really proud of how our team did.”
The Blue Devils were nothing if not physical<\p>–<\p>perhaps too physical. One player fouled out, and several others came close.
But at times this aggression seemed to be having the desired effect on Stanford, forcing careless mistakes.
“I really have higher expectations for our guard play,” VanDerveer said. “We broke their press and then we would throw shots up that looked like they were gonna break the backboard.”
Stanford’s next two opponents, like Duke, were top-10 teams that intended to serve intense competition. The Cardinal faced No. 3 Tennessee on the 19th, and undefeated No. 1 Connecticut just four days later. Stanford fended off a talented Lady Vol squad en route to a 67-52 victory, but then faded late against the Huskies as it fell 80-68 in a rematch of last year’s national semifinals.
The Cardinal’s game against Tennessee started off with a bang, as both teams exchanged the lead amid alternating offensive spurts.
The Lady Vols put the Cardinal down 11-4 in the first eight minutes, thanks to scoring drives led by redshirt sophomore Kelley Cain and junior Angie Bjorklund. Stanford would respond, however, with a big run of its own.
Over a dominant eight-minute stretch, the Cardinal outscored Tennessee by 18-4. Seven different Stanford players scored during the outburst, and the Cardinal would not surrender the lead for the rest of the game.
The run ended emphatically on a three-point basket by Gold-Onwude. The Stanford guard found the hoop with another shot from beyond the arc soon afterward, and added a layup to give the Cardinal a 30-18 lead at halftime.
“I’m really proud of how Ros came in and really helped us,” VanDerveer said. “She had some big shots and played really hard defensively.”
The Cardinal went on to beat the Vols 67-52, handing Tennessee its first loss of the season. Junior Kayla Pedersen led both teams with 16 points, while sophomore Nnemkadi Ogwumike added 14 of her own.
“They exposed their game to all of women’s basketball today, and it wasn’t pretty,” said Tennessee Head Coach Pat Summitt. “They were the best team today in all aspects of the game. We’ve got to get a whole lot better. We fell apart. Sometimes that happens.”
After besting Tennessee, the Cardinal headed north for a much-anticipated matchup with Connecticut. Going into the contest, Coach Geno Auriemma’s No. 1 Huskies were undefeated after nine games and hadn’t lost in their last 48 contests.
For the second time in as many games, the opening 20 minutes were characterized by alternating bursts of strong offense. Connecticut took off to a quick 19-10 lead, led by reigning Player of the junior Year Maya Moore.
As in the Tennessee game before it, however, Stanford was able to respond. Pedersen and Ogwumike led a 15-2 run, scoring a combined 11 points as the Cardinal seemed to take control of the game. Stanford led 25-21 at the end of the spurt, posting the biggest lead that any team has held over UConn this season, and went on to lead 40-38 at the half.
The Huskies were completely dominant in the second frame, at one point going on a 30-6 run. Despite making only one three-pointer and shooting 50 percent from the field, Connecticut managed to take advantage of Cardinal turnovers and run away with the game.
“They came out and were more aggressive definitely [in the second half],” said Ogwumike. “What it felt like for me is that we were kind of slow to react to what was going on, and they just went after it. It is hard to compensate for such aggressive play and I think that is what really got us.”
Stanford, meanwhile, posted less than half as many points as they did in their impressive first half. They were outrebounded 43-29 and outshot 73-56 from the field, and gave up 17 turnovers during the game before losing 80-68.
“They didn’t care if you got in the way or not – they are just going in there,” VanDerveer said. “We need people to step up and take charges in that situation. They are definitely head and shoulders above us, and they just play at a different pace than anybody. They are moving the ball and their players are moving and screening. They played very well together.”
Stanford was quick to bounce back, however, with a dominant 68-46 victory at Fresno State. Appel led both teams with 20 points and 18 rebounds, while Pedersen added 14 points of her own. The Cardinal’s push to victory, though, was kickstarted by a Gold-Onwude three-pointer four minutes in. They were the first points of the game.
Stanford had another slow start before it bested rival Cal 79-58 to begin its conference season. The Cardinal missed 21 of its first 25 shots.
“In the first half, we weren’t hitting layups and were really lethargic and slow,” Ogwumike said.
Ogwumike would go on to lead her team to an explosive second half, scoring 24 points and posting 16 rebounds, a career high. Pedersen posted a double-double as well, with 16 points and 10 rebounds.
With the 5-1 break, Stanford improves to 11-1 and maintains its No. 2 national ranking. The Cardinal continues its season this weekend in Los Angeles, playing USC on Friday at 7 p.m. and UCLA on Sunday at 2 p.m.
Whoa, Nelly! Just weeks after Intel came clean with its new Pine Trial nettop and netbook platform, the company is today cutting loose with a few more. This go ’round, we’ve got the 32nm Arrandale (which consists of the Core i5 Mobile and Core i3 Mobile) heading for the laptops and the 32nm Clarkdale chips over on the desktop front. Starting with the former, most reviews found the CPU + GPU solution to be faster than rivaling Core 2 Duo + integrated GPU options, with the Core i5 being particularly potent in highly threaded applications. Better still, battery life didn’t seem to take a hit even with the extra performance, though high-end, high-res gaming was still a lesson in futility when working without a discrete graphics card. Overall, the chip was a welcome addition to the fold, but we got the feeling that the first wave was priced too high and offered too little of a performance increase on the gaming side to really warrant a wholehearted recommendation. As for the Clarkdale? The Core i5 661 that everyone seemed to snag was found to be blisteringly fast, with most folks deeming it the outright champion in the dual-core realm. Unfortunately, the integrated GPU was — again — not awesome for hardcore gaming, and the questionable pricing didn’t exactly thrill some critics. Do yourself a favor and dig into the benchmarks below — we get the feeling we’ll be seeing oodles of machines hit the wires this week with these chips within.
Arrandale reviews
Read – HotHardware
Read – AnandTech
Read – Tom’s Hardware
Read – PCPerspective
Read – Legit Reviews
Clarkdale reviews
Read – NeoSeeker
Read – HotHardware
Read – HardcoreWare
Read – TechSpot
Read – AnandTech
Read – PCPerspective
Read – Legion Hardware
Read – TweakTown
Read – Overclockers Club
Intel’s Arrandale and Clarkdale CPUs get benchmarked for your enjoyment originally appeared on Engadget on Mon, 04 Jan 2010 01:09:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.
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Clinical Instructor in Anesthesia Dr. Geoffrey Brant Walton, pictured with wife Melissa and son Will, passed away from colon cancer on Dec. 17. The School of Medicine will rename a teaching award in his honor. (Courtesy of Tatum Tarin)
After a year-long battle with colon cancer, Medical School Prof. Geoffrey Brant Walton died peacefully in his home on Dec. 17, at the age of 34.
The anesthesia department at the School of Medicine will rename its annual teaching excellence award in memory of Walton, a clinical instructor in anesthesia.
Walton came to Stanford in 2003 for a surgery internship at the Stanford University Medical Center, then stayed on for his residency prior to joining the School of Medicine faculty in July 2007.
“Brant was smart, confident and creative,” wrote anesthesia Prof. Andrew J. Patterson, his former mentor, in an e-mail to The Daily. “He liked to figure out better ways of doing things, both clinically and in the laboratory.”
Ronald Pearl, chairman of the anesthesia department, said Walton was both passionate and skilled at teaching. “I think that had he not died, he would have become a national leader in teaching,” Pearl said.
To pay tribute to Walton, a teaching honor will now be named the Geoffrey Brant Walton Resident Award for Excellence in Teaching. The recipient is determined by medical students.
Brooks Rohlen, a senior resident in anesthesia, fondly recalled his experiences under Walton’s supervision for the first year of his residency. On Rohlen’s first day, Walton showed up with a cup of coffee and insisted on getting Rohlen one, too.
“Instead of a superior-inferior relationship, he treated me as an equal,” Rohlen said. “It was a beautiful way of approaching a student. He didn’t blow me off, and made sure to take care of me.”
According to Rohlen, when he shared ideas and concepts about medical technology over breakfast, Walton remained supportive. “He’s one of those guys in the world who everyone tells you ‘no,’ but he tells you ‘maybe.’” Rohlen said.
Rohlen also highlighted Walton’s teaching methods. “Everyone thinks they’re a good teacher, but his teaching was that he identified weaknesses,” he said. “He took complex subjects and he taught in a simple but complete way so that it becomes your strength.”
Urologist Tatum Tarin, who completed his residency while Walton was on staff, agreed. “He could really break things down for his anesthesiology residents,” Tarin said. “He was an exceptional teacher.”
In addition to exceptional teaching, Walton will be remembered as an accomplished researcher.
An emerging mind in modern medicine, Walton won various awards including the Anesthesia Department’s Resident Research Award in 2007 and a prize from the California Society of Anesthesiologists.
“Medicine has suffered a huge loss to lose a mind like that,” Rohlen said. “His ability to teach, invent and develop all made him a huge asset to academic medicine.”
In 2000, Walton was named a Howard Hughes scholar. Recipients of the prestigious fellowship are up and coming thinkers in the country who can make a difference on a global scale, according to Rohlen. Using this scholarship, Walton worked closely with Dr. Wally Koch at Duke University, investigating cardiovascular physiology and adrenergic receptor biology.
After completing the fellowship, Walton came to Stanford to further his research in cardiovascular physiology. Patterson mentored Walton during his fellowship at the Stanford Medical Center.
According to Patterson, Walton taught several members of his laboratory team how to perform the microsurgery techniques that he had developed in the Koch lab.
“Brant was a phenomenal researcher,” Patterson wrote in an e-mail to The Daily.
“[Walton] was known to have ‘golden hands’ in the laboratory,” he added. “He quickly showed us why when he started to work in my laboratory.”
Walton’s work on gene expression profiling, done in Patterson’s lab, will be published in Critical Care Medicine in January 2010. Prior to his diagnosis of cancer, Walton also co-authored 10 publications.
“Unfortunately, Brant [Walton] developed cancer before he could realize his full potential with regard to research,” Patterson wrote. “He would likely have developed novel means of monitoring the cardiovascular system – his talent was exceptional.
“[He] would have invented something to save lives, and he would have contributed to a better understanding of heart disease,” Patterson added. “He was just reaching a point in his life where he could make a significant difference.”
To his friends and family, Walton was recognized as an extroverted Renaissance man. He was a musician, scholar, cook, photographer, nature enthusiast, builder, traveler and wine connoisseur.
“He knew so much about history and literature, and he was an accomplished musician,” Tarin said. “He was a national champion jazz drummer. He was a phenomenal cook and father.”
“He just enjoyed life,” added Brenda Walton, his mother.
Walton valued learning and really wanted his son to love learning too, according to Rohlen.
“His biggest concern as a dying father was that his son got to go to college and learn,” he said. “The fact that he wasn’t going to be around for his family was really on his mind – he was such a caring guy.”
“He loved his son and wife,” added his younger brother, Zaak Walton.
Walton also kept an online journal of his fight with cancer in order to keep his family and friends updated about his status.
“Everyone loved him and everybody loved being around him,” Tarin said. “He will be missed.”
A memorial service will be held on campus later this month.
Coupa Café will not be open for the start of winter quarter, and the kiosk that once held MoonBean’s Coffee will remain empty until mid-February – at the earliest.
The site remains vacant due to continuing negotiations over the building permit. Accommodating Coupa’s food service required retrofitting the MoonBean’s site, as well as meeting county regulations for food preparation.
“The permitting business all has to do with expanding the food service at the kiosk,” said Andrew Herkovic, director of communications and development for Stanford Libraries.
Stanford is currently awaiting word on its latest permit application. When a building permit is issued, contractors are then expected to take five weeks for construction at the site. Coupa Café will then need time to dress and finalize the site following construction.
“Assuming that the latest negotiation will satisfy the county, we are looking at mid-February [for an opening],” Herkovic said.
If permit negotiations extend longer, the Coupa opening could be delayed even further.
According to Herkovic, as of Jan. 5 an automated espresso machine will be available in Meyer Library. Herkovic said the machine was “not a solution,” but that its presence would serve some of the needs of students, particularly during late-night hours.
Watching the Rose Parade
Little cousin passes gas
Little cousin (embarrassed): Sorry…
Uncle Jeff: You know son, all odors are particulate.
Aunt Carol: Hahahahahaha. Oh, god. Why did I laugh at that.
Little cousin: …What? I don’t get it.
…A minute passes…
Little cousin: No, really, I don’t get it. What do you mean?
Aunt Carol: HE MEANS that there are LITTLE PIECES OF POOP from your behind flying everywhere around this room right now.
Overheard at a family holiday party
Uncle Bob: If I’m going to play Santa, I need at least another two drinks.
——–
Aunt: What’s your girlfriend’s name?
Nephew: Emma.
Aunt: Hey, wow! Our dog is named Emma.
Nephew: Oh.
——–
Them: Why are you back so soon?
Us: We were about to go into the movie, but then we thought to ourselves, “It’s the holidays. We only get to see our family all together like this once a year, and it would be a shame to waste that precious time sitting in a theater rather than with those we love most. So we came back to spend time with you.
Them: Avatar was sold out, wasn’t it?
Us: GodDAMN it.
——–
Cousin: I can think of no better way to celebrate Jesus’ birthday than by taking a tequila shot right now.
——–
Aunt: What’s your girlfriend’s name again?
Nephew: Emma.
Aunt: Oh right. Hey, did you know that’s our dog’s name?
Nephew: Yeah, you mentioned that.
Overheard in line at the grocery store
“Why would you throw a snowball at a cop car!?”
At a party
Friend 1: You don’t have the palate for shortbread.
…Later on…
Friend 1: My parents have this $6,000 bottle of scotch–want to try some?
Friend 2: Ewww, no! It’s smoky! Ewww, that’ll taste like Chipotle.
Dad, racing into the living room
“Hon, where did you put my back scratcher-slash-hairbrush???”
At a family party
Family is engaged in a heated debate over immigration in a restaurant. The debate-ending comment:
Dad: If you don’t have strong borders, you have Barnes and Noble.
Whispered at cousin’s house
“The mother was worried that it might not be big enough…”
Overheard at a Clippers 76ers game
“76ers? More like Seventy-duck-my-dicksers.”
“Allan Iverson? More like Barely Aliverson.”
Post-holiday phone conversation between two friends
Friend 1: How was your Christmas?
Friend 2: Well, my dad burnt the lamb, but only on the outside. So my little brother had to microwave his because it was so pink, it was basically still BAAAH-ing. And the house got all smoky, so we had to open the door even though it was freezing outside. And then the cat ran out.
Friend 1: Wow, sounds terrible.
Friend 2: The saddest part is that the same thing happens every year. My dad should really cook lamb more often, or not at all…
