Author: Cowboy

  • 10 of the Manliest Female Celebrities

    Female celebrities are typically known for being unrealistically hot, and the public marvels at their ability to appear flawlessly beautiful both on and off screen. Female celebrities flaunt their femininity using makeup, clothing, and plastic surgery to accentuate their girlish qualities. But sometimes, intentionally or not, along comes an atypical female celeb with atypically mannish qualities. Whether it’s the result of a botched plastic surgery, too many hours at the gym, or getting stuck with genes that have been scraped from the bottom of the pool, the following not-so-lovely ladies are known for their utter manliness.

    Donatella Versace

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    +10 Leathery Skin, +10 Man Face. Level 20 ManLady.

    Donatella Versace is an Italian fashion designer whose brother, Gianni Versace, created the famous Versace brand. Too many plastic surgeries have left her looking like a wrinkly cancer troll of the male gender.

    Jocelyn Wildenstein

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    +9 Plastic Surgery Gone Wrong, +8 Man Face. Level 17 ManLady.

    Jocelyn Wildenstein is a person famous for no reason other than being absurd. Jocelyn was born into an incredibly rich family and has made a name for herself as a skilled hunter and plastic monster. In an attempt to appear more ‘cat-like,’ something which she thought would make her husband love her more, Wildenstein has spent a whopping $4 million on various plastic surgeries. But despite her utterly beautiful transformation, her husband filed for divorce. Wildenstein’s sheer ugliness inspired a musical titled ‘Bride of Wildenstein,’ in which Wildenstein was played by a tranny.

    Brooke Hogan

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    +5 Man Face, +5 Looks Like Hulk Hogan With Implants. Level 10 ManLady.

    Brooke Hogan is the daughter of famous WWE wrestler Hulk Hogan, and she looks like him in drag. She’s tried her hand at being a musical performer, but has always been a pretty irrelevant celebrity. Big, muscly, square-jawed, manly, and frightening are all words that come to mind when thinking of Brooke Hogan. Hogan’s managed to look sexy in rigorously photoshopped magazines like Maxim, but the true appearance of that mirage is a lumbering man-creature. Just like her father.

    Madonna

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    +6 Melty Man Face, +8 Skeletor Arms. Level 14 ManLady.

    Madonna used to be a sex icon, and the number one master of sexiness on the entire planet. Her music has inspired people across the globe, and her image has titillated anyone lucky enough to see her in her prime. Unfortunately, she’s aging quite gracelessly and has begun to look like a mannish flesh puppet. Her unfortunate man face is withering at a relatively normal speed, melting and rearranging itself like any older celebrity who’s been worn out by years of practice and performances. It’s Madonna’s arms that are really creepy — they look like they’ve been amputated off of an old man and sewn onto her. Hours at the gym has perpetuated one of her flaws, and Madonna’s pale, stringy zombie arms are begging for sleeves.

    Caster Semenya

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    +10 Ambiguity. Level 10 Shapeshifter.

    World Champion of the 800 meter run Caster Semenya has inspired a lot of controversy surrounding her gender, so much so that Semenya was finally asked to take a gender test to determine whether or not she was allowed to keep the gold medal she had won this August. Tests have determined that Semenya is a hermaphrodite, has testosterone levels three times higher than what is normal for females, and doesn’t have ovaries. But the young athlete has always lived as a woman, does not have male genitalia and was permitted to keep her medal. Hooray! “God made me the way I am and I accept myself. I am who I am and I’m proud of myself,” she told You Magazine, where her pictures appeared after a feminine makeover.

    Rosie O’Donnell

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    +8 Man Face, +8 Blobbish Man Body. Level 16 ManLady.

    Rosie O’Donnell is a famous television actress and rotund lesbi-man. However, Rosie’s manliness is a product of her desires, rather than the unfortunate side effect of drugs or plastic surgery. There’s nothing wrong with that, but she still looks like an angry Guido.

    The Operation Repo Toad

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    +9 Man Face, +10 Blobby Man Body. Level 19 ManLady.

    Here’s the ‘woman’ from TruTV’s hit show, Operation Repo. Operation Repo is a fake reality television show in which a team (of mostly lard asses) repossesses various types of vehicles from various wacky and ill-tempered people. Everything is a melodramatic reenactment, besides the main actress’ brutishness. She is truly a beast, and attempts to black out the manly parts of her face by drawing on her eyebrows and a bunch of hookerish black eyeshadow all fail miserably. Her mission: Painfully Impossible. Her face: Offensive.

    Chyna

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    +10 Neanderthal Man Face, +10 Steroid Enhanced Man Body, +10 Failed Plastic Surgery. Level 30 ManLady.

    Chyna is a WWE wrestler famous for kicking ass and looking like the manliest woman possibly ever. Like every other male wrestler in the WWE, Chyna looks like a roid loving bodybuilder and is bursting at the seams with masculinity. Huge muscles, big goofy man-face, and veiny, claw-like hands define her figure. Seeing Chyna naked is an insult in itself — her plastic basketball tits and big muscly ass fail to accentuate her femininity and almost make the image worse. Chyna in makeup and heels isn’t much of an improvement either; it’s like unexpectedly stumbling upon a picture of a shut-in tranny who spends all their time shopping for lubricant on Amazon.com. Always scary. Never less shocking than the first time.

    Fergie

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    +10 Meth Face, +7 Man Body. Level 17 ManLady.

    Pop star Fergie of The Black Eyed Peas looks like she has a nice body in low quality pictures, or when she’s far enough away from the camera to confuse you like a really mean trick. Besides pissing her pants during one of her performances, Fergie’s face is Haggard with a capital H. She was literally a meth addict and, like all of those suffering from the dreaded meth-face, still retains her rough edges in a face that says, “I was meant to be a man.” All the makeup in the world couldn’t hide a meth face.

    Pink

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    +5 Man Face, +5 Man Body, +5 There Could Be a Penis Under There. Level 15 ManLady.

    Pink is a pop star known for her ‘edginess,’ or what most would call ‘relentless manliness.’ Looking like she came straight from the trailer park and is eating a tube of toothpaste, Pink flaunts her man-belly. There is nothing feminine about her stomach. Her sides literally look like they’re leading down to a dick beneath her white cargo man-shorts. Pink’s small boobs don’t help her case, but even if they were huge it would make no difference; the man in her is bursting to come out in multiple areas. Not included in this photo: Pink’s manly horse thighs, muscly boy-arms.


  • 15 of the Worst Kinds of Boobs

    There are as many different types of boobs as there are shapes of women, and let’s face it — some shapes are nicer than others. While it’s true that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, when it comes to cleavage there are just some lines that must be drawn when a woman steps in front of a camera; it’s a harsh reality of life, after all. Without further ado, these are the 15 worst kinds of boobs — get to know your enemy.

    The Bolt-Ons

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    Nothing could be more terrifying than a hideous pair of bolt-ons suddenly appearing in your face as you’re minding your own business at the local 80’s night — except maybe seeing them at an awards show. One thing’s for certain here; while it’s true that money can buy just about anything these days, including fake breasts, Victoria Beckham has proven that it can’t buy common sense.

    The Saggers

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    Saggers are often cited as being every girl’s secret fear, which in the end is often realized due to the natural process of aging. In certain cases, saggers make their debut at an early age — and usually on women who don’t seem to realize the fact. Saggers don’t necessarily have to be large to earn the moniker, and be sure not to mistake a pair of saggers for pancakes. The problem with saggers is that they simply don’t make an effort to stay where you put them, and they certainly don’t belong in public spaces without a good bra.

    The Tipped Scale

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    Every kid learns at an early age, much to their surprise and befuddlement, that a girl’s pair of girls aren’t ever exactly the same. One is always larger than the other — it’s just usually by an amount so trivial that it can hardly be quantified. In extreme cases of cup-size disparity, you get the tipped scale. More socially savvy women who happen to be afflicted with this nuisance tend to pad a cup to balance things out, but some girls just go commando and wind up as examples in the blogosphere.

    The Perpetual Nipples

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    Some people like to think that a good bra can cover anything, but with a pair of glass-cutters like these things mounted up front and center, it’s difficult to imagine just keeping a wardrobe without holes worn through every piece. The perpetual nipples aren’t just unsightly and embarrassing though — they’re potentially dangerous, too. It only takes one of them to put an eye out in the wrong situation.

    The Pancakes

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    Not to be confused with saggers, the pancakes tend to be most evident on girls who are often told to eat something before they die of malnutrition. Pancake boobies are like fossils or ancient ruins — they’re evidence that there was once cleavage where there are now only sad, flappy, forgotten bags of nothingness.

    The Widow Makers

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    We like to call these widow makers because of their obvious potential to suffocate would-be victims of a smothering hug-attack by the wearers. We say would-be because the odds of a girl sporting these monsters of modern medicine ever snagging a man are worse than winning the lottery.

    The Wreck

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    The wreck is quite literal, since it’s usually due to a botched plastic surgery, and most closely resembles body-damage from a car wreck. Unlike a car wreck, botched plastic surgery is often irreparable, and let’s face it — a dented boob is quite a bit more unsightly than a dented bumper.

    The Anime Special

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    Prepubescent boys will ogle and lust after the anime special, but once they grow old enough to realize what things like “poor taste” and “sad pathetic attempts to feel more beautiful” are, they learn that there is such a thing as being proportional. Women who have this done to themselves are generally on the lower end of the porn-industry’s totem pole, but there are some pretty notable exceptions.

    The Justin Bieber

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    Calling girls who are flatter than boards Justin Biebers may seem a bit mean, but let’s face it, Justin Bieber deserves it. These women spend their entire lives self-conscious of their chestlessness in the starry-eyed belief that someday they may actually grow breasts. Sadly for them (and us) that doesn’t usually happen without surgical intervention, but every so often, one of them grows up to become a Hollywood starlet.

    The Migrators

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    Migrators may start out in a fairly standard placement in the morning, but they tend to go wherever they please as the day goes on. Women with migrators are usually the type to shun their bras, and even worse, think they have extremely desirable cleavage and try their best to show it off to as many souls as possible. Some people may also refer to these wandering nomads as “drifters.”

    The Uniboob

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    Alongside the dreaded bolt-ons, the uniboob is quite possibly one of the most frightening and emotionally disconcerting sights to which anyone can be exposed, period. Uniboobs are a genetic oddity, much unlike the more ubiquitous unibrow. While it’s possibly for a girl to be born with these things, it’s much more likely that when you see it, you’re seeing the erred judgment of a girl who couldn’t afford a good plastic surgeon.

    The Balloons

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    Balloons happen when a woman, on a misguided quest through Breast Augmentation Land, arrives at the point where she officially has the anime special and decides that it’s simply not enough. When a woman has breasts so outlandishly bulbous that they make small children think that the woman may actually float away, the woman has failed.

    The Grand Canyon

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    The Grand Canyon is one of America’s most celebrated natural wonders. It’s also a great name for a pair of ta-tas that are perennially miles apart. Women with the Grand Canyon are almost always deluded enough to think that they actually have some sort of desirable cleavage on their chest, when in reality all they really have is a set of (usually) fake breasts positioned so far apart that they look flat-chested.

    The Blow-Up Doll

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    Another surprisingly literal moniker for a seriously disturbing type of boobage — the blow-up doll occurs when a particularly trashy woman decides that regular breast augmentation just isn’t enough for her control-freak attitude; she needs to be able to pump up her assets on a moment’s notice, and what better way to do it than to use an actual pump? Women who go this far have to be able to live comfortably with nozzles on the sides of their fake breasts, as well as the fact that no man will ever want to touch or look directly at them again.

    Moobs

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    Last but not least; since, after all, breasts are aren’t just a female feature, but mammalian one, are moobs. Moobs are both dreaded and celebrated (celebrated when spotted in hilarious ironic glory at a public swimming pool, dreaded in every other circumstance), and from a purely numerical standpoint, are likely far more prevalent in today’s society than every other type of horrifyingly bad breasts on this list. Unlike the other breasts on this list, moobs are easily corrected with diet and exercise, as they can most often be attributed to a combination of fast food and World of Warcraft.

  • 16 Super Hot Older Celebrities Who are Still Bangable

    Most celebrities come into fame when they’re pretty young, and the majority of them only stay famous for a couple of years before slipping into the abyss of irrelevancy once again. Sub-par talents or drug addiction are largely contributing factors to the transition from ’star’ to ’some lady’, but the dreaded process of aging is really what haunts many sexy female celebs. Aging can’t be stopped, only delayed, and sometimes those age-defying cosmetic procedures don’t work very well or at all. However, some ladies luck out — a good plastic surgeon, genes, or simply healthy habits give their looks a longevity that leave us wanting more for years, sometimes decades. Here are 25 older celebrities who are definitely still bangable.

    Sharon Stone – 46

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    Sharon Stone is an American actress and model most famous for the movie that skyrocketed her career and made her a sex symbol of the 90s at the same time — Basic Instinct. Even younger generations are familiar with her famous ‘flashing’ scene, in which she crosses and uncrosses her legs during a police interview. It sounds innocent enough, but it’s a head on shot of Stone’s vagina; she’s wearing only a slinky dress and no underwear. Since then, Stone has appeared in countless blockbuster hits and been listed on multiple ’sexiest women on earth’ lists. Although she used to be a Scientologist and offhandedly suggested that the 2008 earthquake in China could be chalked up to ‘karma’, Stone is still smoking hot at 46 years of age. She’s still posing nude!

    Nicole Kidman – 41

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    Australian actress Nicole Kidman began her Hollywood career acting in Australian sitcoms and television shows. She is better known for her roles in films like Batman Forever and the sexually charged Eyes Wide Shut. Kidman has been nominated for countless awards, and even made a spot for herself on the UK music charts after her vocal performances in Moulin Rouge! Although Kidman may be a little crazy — and guilty of joining the cult of Scientology — she’s one hot MILF at the age of 41.

    Salma Hayek – 43

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    An actress first, Salma Hayek has dabbled in film directing and producing as well. She first became known in Mexico for her starring role in Teresa, a made for TV movie split up into a series. Hayek has been cast as the ’sexy female’ in multiple blockbuster hits such as Dogma and Wild Wild West, and has popped up on countless magazine covers and centerfolds. However, she still took the time from her busy career to donate lumps of money to shelters for battered women and victims of domestic violence. Hayek has one child and is still looking great at 43.

    Angelina Jolie – 34

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    Angelina Jolie is an American actress who was originally born with the last name Voight, but later dropped it after becoming estranged from her father. She began modeling in LA when she was only fourteen, and appeared in music videos for artists like Meat Load and Lenny Kravitz. One of Jolie’s first movie roles was in cult favorite Hackers, but her first breakthrough appearance was about four years later when she appeared in a film called George Wallace, for which she received a Golden Globe Award. Her sexy role as supermodel Gia Carangi as Gia, a from-rags-to-riches story with a tragic ending, earned her even wider recognition. Since then, Jolie has become a worldwide sex symbol. She easily adapts to a variety of roles, turning scripts into titillating, irresistible films.

    Marisa Tomei – 45

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    Marisa Tomei was the sassy sexpot from My Cousin Vinny, a dramady about two ‘youts’ who are arrested and wrongly accused of murder in a small Alabama town far away from their homes in NYC. Tomei won an Academy Award for her supporting role and went on to appear in films like What Women Want and Anger Management. Born in Brooklyn, Tomei isn’t shy about her stunning figure — she appears nude in the 2007 film Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead and 2009’s The Wrestler. Tomei is now 45 years old, but looks considerably better than many younger actresses in Hollywood today.

    Tina Fey – 39

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    Tina Fey is an American actress and comedian who has won about eighteen various awards for her work. Tina Fey spent seven years as the main writer for SNL before departing from the show to create her own comedy sitcom, a series called 30 Rock which was loosely based on her past experiences in television. Fey has been ranked on the Hot List by Maxim in 2002, named one of People Magazine’s 50 most beautiful people and 100 beautiful people over a number of years. She received an award as well as an incredible amount of praise for her SNL skit in which she parodied vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, looking and acting frighteningly similar to the right wing nutjob.

    Elle Macpherson – 47

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    Australian supermodel and actress Elle Macpherson is also a successful entrepreneur, producing skin care and lingerie lines. Macpherson traveled to New York at the age of 17 in an attempt to raise money modeling in order to pay for her college tuition. Instead, she began what would become a 25 year long modeling career for Tab, Time Magazine, Playboy, and countless other magazines and products. Although Macpherson is almost half a century old, she still retains her sexiness and business prowess as she hosts and produces Britain’s Next Top Model.

    Gwen Stefani – 40

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    Gwen Stefani is an American singer who became famous for her rock band, No Doubt, and later became a solo artist and fashion designer. Stefani’s first vocal performance was at a high school talent show, where she sang a song from The Sound of Music while wearing a homemade dress inspired by the film. She performed on a track with Sublime before they blew up, and made two successful solo albums after departing from No Doubt over ten years later. At the age of 40, Stefani currently has two sons with husband Gavin Rossdale, and is still looking hot as heck as she performs in mostly self-made clothing during solo concerts and No Doubt reunion shows.

    Courteney Cox – 45

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    Courteney Cox is a super cute American actress best known as Monica from television sitcom Friends. Luckily for television lovers everywhere, Cox decided not to pursue her original career choice as an architect and instead began appearing in music videos and commercials. Cox had an affair with her step-cousin, Ian Copeland, before marrying David Arquette, with whom she has one child. Cox currently plays a character called Jules Cobb in television series Cougar Town — just the name of that show is testament to her sexiness, still present after 45 years.

    Lucy Liu – 41

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    Lucy Liu is the sultry American actress from kick-ass films like Charlie’s Angels and Kill Bill — she’s got a tough as nails personality that makes her amazing figure and beautiful face stand out more than they normally would. Born in Queens, NY, Liu would attend and graduate college while beginning her acting career in film and television. Leading up to her breakthrough role in Ally McBeal, Liu appeared in episodes of The X-Files and Hercules. But Liu didn’t use her sexiness strictly for smash hits like Lucky Number Slevin and Chicago — she lowered her usual acting rate to star in a movie meant to raise AIDS awareness in China and Thailand. Liu is one hot 41 year old who we would love to see play the accordion — a hobby Liu says she enjoys.

    Darryl Hannah – 49

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    Darryl Hannah is an 80s sex pot who had roles in prominent films like Blade Runner and Roxanne. Over two decades later, Hannah is still killing it in the occasional television movie — she also has her own video blog to raise awareness about environmental issues. This good-hearted hottie was even arrested in 2006 while trying to prevent the razing of a forest in southern LA. Hannah was again arrested during another protest in 2009, clearly unafraid of penalization for doing what she believes is “morally right.” At 49 years of age, Hannah is still sexy — and feisty — as ever.

    Vanessa Williams – 47

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    Vanessa Williams is a multi-talented singer, model, and actress from upstate New York. Coincidentally, her parents had joked “Here comes Miss America” as she was being born — some 20 years later, that joke would become reality. Williams won Miss New York in 1983 and Miss America in 1984. Because she was the first black Miss America, Williams received death threats and hate mail. To make matters worse, she felt forced to resign after nude photos of her were sold to Penthouse without her permission, prompting pressure and uneasiness from pageant sponsors. However, Williams was not so easily deterred from success. She later released multiple R&B albums which earned her Grammy nominations and spots on the top ten Billboard Hot 100. At 47 years old, Williams is still a striking beauty.

    Michelle Pfeiffer – 52

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    Michelle Pfeiffer is an American actress who first became famous for her role in the cinematic masterpiece Scarface. Pfeiffer has appeared in dozens of movies and television shows since, adopting various accents [anything from Brooklyn to Russian] for her roles. She played Catwoman, a role only a totally smoking hot babe could fill out; Pfeiffer fit the part perfectly. Even after four children and at the age of 51, Pfeiffer is definitely still bangable.

    Halle Berry – 43

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    Halle Berry is one of the most famous sex symbols alive today. An American actress and beauty queen, Berry is the first African American to win an Academy Award for best actress. The role that earned her such status was of that in Monster’s Ball, a racially charged drama in which she has a super hot and explicit sex scene with Billy Bob Thornton. Although she received multiple awards for her outstanding acting, Berry won the Razzie award for ‘worst actress’ after playing Catwoman in 2005. She even tried her hand at chemistry; Berry used her leisure time to create a perfume from her own home. She later sold it for millions of dollars. Berry is now 43, still super-hot and super-motivated; her acting career hasn’t slowed down a bit.

    Cindy Crawford – 44

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    Cindy Crawford is a former American Supermodel who, like Marilyn Monroe, has a small mole just above her lip. Crawford has modeled for Vogue, Elle, Cosmopolitan, and countless other large-name magazines. After graduating from high school as valedictorian of her class, Crawford dropped out of her chemical engineering at college to pursue modeling full time. This was clearly a great choice. Crawford has made multiple work-out videos, including one for mothers who are trying to get back in shape after having her first child. We can only imagine that all across America, these videos made the sons of many Crawford-loving mothers very happy.

    Geena Davis – 54

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    Geena Davis is a multi-talented actress, writer, model and film producer. She was born in a small town in Massachusetts, where she learned how to play multiple instruments as a child. Davis signed her fist modeling contract a little over thirty years ago in 1979 — that’s more than three decades! Besides modeling and acting in over a dozen movies, Davis has done her fair share of activism as well. She sparked a study on gender ratios in television programs, leading to the discovery that males outnumber females nearly 3:1 in almost 400 movies of varying genres and ratings. At the ripe old age of 54, Davis looks remarkably young and attractive.


  • 15 Greatest Foods for When You’re Hungover

    Almost all of us who drink will fight the beast that is the hangover at some point — some of us more often than not. A pounding headache, churning stomach, and extreme thirst are the last things we want to feel in the morning after a crazy night out, but many swear by their own cures as they stumble through life, weekend after weekend. From the basic (crackers and water) to the crazy (drinking even more), we’ve sifted through all kinds of “cures.” Most of what’s out there may be completely bogus, but these are the 15 greatest foods for when you’re hungover that will make a difference.



    Breakfast Sandwich

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    The breakfast sandwich is a classic hangover food, whether your favorite is an egg McMuffin, a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit or even something homemade. There’s little to no work on your part — this grease bomb will ease your suffering. It covers the carbs and protein needed to clear your head and get back to work.



    Pho

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    While pho (pronounced “fuh”) may not be the first thing that comes to mind when considering how to cure a miserable hangover, this Vietnamese noodle soup does wonders. The broth in pho is a constant, but there are many choices available on the meat front, though sliced rare beef and chicken are surefire, tasty choices. The winning key to pho is the broth though — it helps replace the salt and potassium your body loses by the boatload when you drink.



    Macaroni and Cheese

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    There’s nothing like the warmth of good comfort food, and macaroni and cheese really hits the spot when you’re hungover. It doesn’t matter if it’s from Kraft in a box or if it’s that recipe your mom sent you, macaroni and cheese is a great option. The noodles allow easy digestion and provide plenty of carbs, while the cheese gives a decent amount of protein to help your body repair all the damage you caused.



    Pizza

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    Pizza is another classic hangover food for those that swear by the greasy cures. It’s also one of the few hangover foods that’s likely to already be on your table when you wake up. Carbs are in no short supply with pizza, though things like macaroni and cheese will give you more — but pepperoni will boost that protein and even add to the grease factor. Pizza is easy and cheap to come by — cue the stampede of college students — so we don’t see it losing its popularity amongst other hangover foods any time soon.



    Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

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    Yes, it’s a simple solution, but sometimes simple is all you need. This little sandwich is a concoction of some powerhouse hangover fighters — peanut butter for protein, bread for carbs, and jelly for sugars. It’s easy on the stomach, kind to the taste buds, and extremely quick to prepare. On whole wheat, it also has the “healthy” effect on your already guilty conscience.



    Full English Breakfast

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    Enjoying a full English breakfast, if you have the time, is highly recommended when hungover (and even when you’re not). Breakfast sandwiches are a quick solution, but the full English breakfast will cover all your bases, and then some. A full English breakfast traditionally consists of: Bacon, eggs, fried or grilled tomatoes, fried mushrooms, fried bread or toast and sausages,  black pudding, fried potato cakes, and is usually served with a mug of tea. Granted, this may not be the easiest thing to come by if you’re outside the UK and not in a big city elsewhere, but if it’s available it’s a good choice.



    Bananas

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    Yes, really. Bananas are like nature’s own little hangover cures. Not only are bananas full of fructose (natural fruit sugar), to help with energy, they contain a nice amount of potassium. See, when you drink excessively, potassium is one of those minerals that gets depleted. Bananas are also natural antacids — which will help your nausea and stomach pain — and they also contain magnesium, which helps to relax pounding blood vessels in your head. Don’t be afraid to go the sandwich route either — peanut butter and bread only help.



    Crackers

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    Though not the most flavorful food of the bunch, crackers can be a life saver to those folks who are so bad off that they’re unable to keep anything down. Crackers are mostly carbs — with a teensy bit of protein — and will help to calm a rowdy bout of nausea while offering some form of sustenance. It’s great to pair saltine crackers with some ginger ale or other carbonated, caffeinated beverage to both ease nausea and help with that hangover headache.



    Bacon

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    We love to love bacon, and the Internet has pretty much gone bonkers over these slices of pork — now we have yet another reason to sing its praises. Bacon has been, yes, proven to help fight hangovers. Not only is bacon packed with proteins that break down into amino acids your body needs to recover, but the high amount of aminos contained aids in clearing your head altogether. So go ahead, make that bacon sandwich you’ve always dreamt of. It’s one case where it’s absolutely healthy to do so.



    Bagel with Cream Cheese and Lox

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    A warm, toasted bagel is appealing enough to the severely hungover, but add cream cheese and lox — you’ve got a winning combo. The bagel clearly satisfies the need for carbs, but the cream cheese and lox (cured salmon fillet) give a vital protein boost. If you’re not into salmon, or if your stomach can’t handle the fishy smell, then simply leave it out — the cream cheese can hold it’s own.



    Chinese Take-Out

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    Tried and true, any kind of Chinese take-out is usually a favorite amongst boozers. Opening up a box of Chinese take-out would reveal anything from rice or noodles to a variety of chicken, beef, pork or shrimp in greasy glory. Both rice and noodles help kick start the metabolism into gear, speeding up the digestion of that evil alcohol, while chicken, beef, pork and shrimp all contain the protein any hungover body craves.



    Biscuits and Gravy

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    Biscuits and gravy is another comfort food that serves as an amazing counterpart to a hangover. Again, carbs come to the rescue here — biscuits have a decent amount. The sausage gravy provides a tiny bit of protein, but loads on the fat that many find helpful in curing hangovers. It’s a heavy dish, so be wary if your stomach is feeling queasy.



    Cheeseburger

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    Cheeseburgers are a common choice when asking for favorite hangover foods, but the McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger — and many other varieties — seem to win (just ask for a Drunk Special). Though the buns provide some carbs, we suspect that the greasiness (instead of the meat protein) is what does it for most people. They’re cheap and fast, so if you’re not queasy, a cheeseburger is the way to go.




    Mexican Food

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    Mexican food can be anything from Taco Bell and frozen burritos, to real Mexican food, like fresh Chicken Mole or Menudo. The key with Mexican food is that it’s dense, sometimes greasy, and packed with protein and carbs. While Taco Bell and frozen burritos seem to be the safer choices, if you’d rather fight evil with a greater evil, Menudo (tripe soup) will do just the trick.




    Water

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    Alright, so water isn’t exactly a food, but it is the thing you need when fighting a hangover. No matter what foods you choose to help combat your churning stomach and pounding head, water is still the ace in the hole. Drinking alcohol drains your body of all sorts of things, and that headache you’re feeling has a lot to do with a bad case of dehydration. So make it easier on yourself and drink water before you pass out, keep it next to your bed, and keep drinking it in the morning. If plain old water isn’t your thing, try some fortified water, like Vitamin Water or Gatorade. However you dress it up, the water is the key, so get drinking.



  • 12 People Who Are Clearly Not Smarter Than A Fifth Grader

    The world is full of stupid people; it’s just one of those facts we all know and live with as we carefully step through each and every day of our lives. Sometimes, when we watch television, or read magazines, we pay particular attention to some of these people, in morbid curiosity, as they do what they do best — make fools of themselves. While there may be billions of fools out there, these 12 very famous people have been deemed fit to be recognized as being dumber than a fifth grader.



    Sarah Palin

    Yes, we knock on ex-Governor Sarah Palin quite a bit, but let’s face it; she asked for every sentence. The woman is clueless in every way, and unless the subject has to do with cooking moose, she has no idea what she’s talking about in any given conversation. She shows, time after time, how ignorant she is each and every time she steps in front of a camera and opens her mouth — it’s as simple as that. In case you’ve grown comfortable and managed to forget already, the video above should serve as an unpleasant reminder of just how stupid the former governor of Alaska really is.



    Paris Hilton

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    Of all the vapid, self-important, talentless rich-kids to have made a name for themselves after leaving Daddy’s penthouse, Paris Hilton has got to be the most successful. How she got where she is today is no secret — sex sells — but the fact that she’s not only remained in the public eye but actually gained favor is inexplicable. This is the same girl who asked if they sell walls at Walmart. This is the girl who didn’t know what a soup kitchen was, the girl who’s deluded enough to believe that she’s actually made “all” her money on her own, without any help. She may be good enough at memorizing lines to ace a short commercial during a presidential election, but she’s not fooling anyone.



    Sherri Shepherd

    Unimaginably moronic simpleton that she is, Sherri Shepherd somehow managed to get through life not just somewhat successfully, but the woman regularly co-hosts one of the most-watched shows on TV. How she got this far is beyond reason and will probably never be known, but she’s made sure to show the world just how incredibly inept she truly is on several occasions. In the video above, she asserts that “Jesus came first” when confronted with the historical fact that Christians came after the Romans, who came after the Greeks. This wasn’t her first rodeo, though — she still hasn’t decided whether or not the world is flat.



    Miss South Carolina Teen USA, Caite Upton

    Caite Upton made a fool of herself in front of audiences the world over when she opened her mouth on live television to answer a simple question regarding the ignorance of her fellow Americans during the 2007 Miss Teen USA competition. “Like such as” became the catchphrase of the entire year, and the state of South Carolina collectively hid its face in shame. Not surprisingly, Upton has managed to get herself another gig in front of the camera; this time it’s TV’s The Amazing Race, in which she’s currently competing alongside her boyfriend of the moment. In her bio for the show, she’s listed her achievements as simply “being able to overcome the embarrassment from the flub I made on national television during the Miss Teen USA pageant.”



    Glenn Beck

    There’s no way to tip-toe around this one, Glenn Beck is an extreme example of just how low the standards have become for someone to host a show on a major news network. The man is beyond ignorant, which he proves time and again (every time his show airs), but it’s never so readily apparent as when he pulls out his chalkboard to attempt to prove some sort of point. In the hilarious clip shown in the video above, Beck attempts to spell the word OLIGARCHY. Needless to say, it doesn’t end well.



    “Speidi”

    Few people in this world are more hatable than Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. There simply isn’t one shred of humanity between the two of them that would warrant not hating them, but their being a couple of grade-A douchebags isn’t what gets them on this list. While most of what they do is — on the surface — nothing but a desperate bid for more media attention, it becomes pretty plainly obvious that they are actually and truly stupid people when examined more closely. Watching the video above will make you cringe, and may actually cause permanent damage to the part of your brain that tries to cope with immense stupidity, so watch at your own risk.



    Jessica Simpson

    Jessica Simpson, though somehow able to make the majority of Americans adore her despite her severe case of man-jaw, is a vapid waste of good film — on a good day. The classic clip shown above of Simpson difference between chicken and tuna is unforgettable, but it was far from the only instance of its kind. Among the very best of the rest are gems like her mistaking buffalo wings for actual buffalo wings, and our absolute favorite: “On my first day of junior high I was in Geography class, and the teacher asked us if anybody knew the names of the continents. And I was sooo excited. I was like, Damnit! It’s my first day of 7th grade, I’m in junior high and I know this answer. So I raised my hand I was the first one and I said A-E-I-O-U!”
    



    Kanye West

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    Whether you’re a fan of his music or not, Kanye West has made himself quite the spectacle over the last few years. For having sold as many albums as he’s sold, Kanye has actually managed to become more famous for acting stupid than he has for his music. That achievement alone makes him something of a historical figure, but to top it all off the guy decided he was going to “write” a “book.” In a feeble attempt to add author to his ever-growing resume, Kanye released Thank You and You’re Welcome, a stirring philosophical masterpiece of third-grade proportions. To add further fodder for insults, he couldn’t even put the “book” together by himself and had to share a byline with some random guy nobody had ever heard of before. He’s also notorious for not understanding the difference between capital and lowercase letters; if you ever feel the urge to be like Kanye while you lurk around the Internet, you should try this handy bookmarklet for your browser.



    Britney Spears

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    Britney Spears was America’s sweetheart for a good month or so before she started racking up skank-points and behaving badly, but it wasn’t her penchant for scandal that made her eligible to be on this particular list. Spears earned her spot by a mix of sheer force of will and mush for brains. Aside from going completely insane and pulling a Sinead’o on her head, it was always Britney’s way with words that really made us pause (and work out what she meant to say). She’s said a great deal of truly stupid things over the years, like having been to “lots” of overseas places, Canada being one of them, but our very favorite quote from the queen B has to be this gem: “I’ve never wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” 



    Tara Reid

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    When the subject of grotesquely stupid Hollywood dimwits is broached, somebody usually blurts out the name Tara Reid — sometimes as an involuntary muscle response. She got her start in an episode of Saved by the Bell (not the good one, one of the crappy spin-offs), then moved on to appear in a slew of shows and movies, playing one terrible role after another. The girl was nominated twice at the Raspberry Awards; once for Worst Supporting Actress and once for Worst Actress. She’s a terrible actress, and a drunk to boot, but more than anything else she’s just plain dumb. If this girl were to play a game of chess with a stuffed animal, she’d probably lose; she even stated that she “makes Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.” Yes, a “rock scientist,” and we don’t think she meant “geologist,” either.




    Carrie Prejean

    Carrie Prejean, at first glance, seems like a decently well put-together young woman. In the short news blips, sound bites, and rehearsed interviews, Prejean comes across as remarkably level-headed for what she is — an idiot. She may not be on the same level as Tara Reid, but this girl is not going to be winning any of Ben Stein’s Money anytime soon. In the video above, she makes a strong attempt to keep her composure and remember her rehearsed responses while she’s being interviewed by Larry King, but finds herself locked in a mental hamster’s wheel (which is about all she has rattling around up there) when King asks about her motives for wanting to settle out of court in the recent drama surrounding her behavior and the title of Miss California USA. Apparently, inappropriate is the biggest word she knows, and she’s not afraid to use it — inappropriately.



    George W. Bush

    Normally, there would be a heavy sense of propriety that would stop somebody from including a man with such a lofty title in a list such as this. Clearly, G.W. is an exception to that rule, as no list of this sort could possibly be complete without the master of grammatical embarrassment’s official inclusion. Bush was no weekend-warrior in the fight against the English language, either; the man left a trail of butchered phrases everywhere he went, and hundreds of “Bushisms” have been collected over the years to prove it. Entire books have been released with nothing but his hilariously misguided adventures in public speaking — which makes him the indisputable champion of this list.



  • 40 Hot Women in Uniform

    Who doesn’t love women in uniform? We know we do, and since not all girls in official garb are what you’d call hot, we went ahead and filled in the ranks with some luscious wannabes to even things out. Some of these girls may not be the real deal, but they do their part to keep this age-old fantasy alive and well when there aren’t enough real girls in uniform to go around.


  • 12 of the Manliest World Records

    There are absurd world records, and then there are absurdly manly world records. Sometimes it may be a bit difficult to tell the difference between the two, but in some cases the record is simply too macho to be mistaken for anything else. These 12 world records — and the men who set them — are the greatest and manliest we could dredge up. Whatever your record fancy, these guys do not disappoint.



    Heaviest Weight Dangled from a Swallowed Sword

    Sword Swallowing is an age-old art form that has delighted onlookers for hundreds of years. Many people think it’s all fake until they see a guy do it in front of them, with a real sword — and they never doubt them again. The act of swallowing a sword in and of itself is something already pretty damned manly, but taking that trick to a whole new level by hanging weights off the thing is just plain ridiculous. In the video we see Matthew Henshaw of Australia taking a 16 inch sword, swallowing it, and then hanging a 44 lb bag of potatoes off it. He battled back and forth with the infamous Space Cowboy, increasing the weight record, until just recently when a third party came out of nowhere and took the title. Thomas Blackthorne, of the UK, hung over 55 lbs from a swallowed sword in 2009. 



    Heaviest Aircraft Pulled (Individual)

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    Kevin Fast, who doesn’t look as fast as he does monstrously huge, is world-renowned and filthy famous for pulling massive vehicles that are usually towed by tractors of some sort when not under their own power. His grandest accomplishment? Late last year, the man pulled a CC-177 Globemaster III transport aircraft, weighing 188 tons, a distance of over 28 feet. He did it with a harness and his own sheer strength.



    Most Push-Ups (Using Back of Hands) in One Hour

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    We all know at least one guy who thinks he can do a lot of push-ups, and some of them actually can do a decent amount of them. None of them could come close to the jaw-dropping challenge of endurance and strength that Paddy Doyle of the UK displayed in 2007 — he did 1,940 push-ups in one hour flat, on the backs of his hands. As if his name weren’t awesome enough, the guy has to go and do a thing like that.



    Most Live Rattlesnakes Held in the Mouth

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    One thing that most of you would never think to do, as you sit around bored and out of recreational carcinogens, is to place the rattling tail of a live rattle snake in your mouth. At least, we hope not. This guy not only thought that would be a fun idea, but that he could have ten times the fun if he fit the tails of ten rattle snakes in his mouth. Seriously. Jackie Bibby did it, without any assistance, in front of mortified bystanders in NYC back in 2006. He had to hold the snakes in his mouth for ten full seconds to set the record .



    Oldest Father

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    Most men dream of having a long, fruitful life full of sex, but sadly it just doesn’t work out that way for most of them — aside from the ones happily popping those little blue pills. Nanu Ram Jogi, an Indian farmer, had what he thinks was his 21st child in 2007 when he was 90 years old. Now with his fourth wife, Jogi happily said that while he had lost count of how many kids he’s already had, that he wanted to keep on truckin’ and see if he can’t last past 100 years. When asked about how he does it, Jogi said that A: Women love him, and B: He eats a ridiculous amount of meat and takes regular walks. Sounds like a winning combination, doesn’t it?



    Heaviest Weight Lifted by Tongue

    Yes, by tongue. And to top it off, our friend Thomas Blackthorne — the same guy who holds the record for a weight dangled from a swallowed sword — broke this one by lifting well over 25 lbs with nothing but his tongue and the hook in it. You think you’ve got some slick pickup lines? Try beating this guy’s.



    Heaviest Deadlift

    A 26 year-old beast from Iceland, Benedikt Magnússon currently holds the (seemingly unbeatable) world record for the deadlift — at over 1100 lbs. To make the performance even mightier looking, the Strongman rules allow the use of whole wheel-sets off Hummers to be used instead of the more compact standard weights, and that’s what the massive Magnússon hoisted in front of a thrilled crowd to win his title.



    Longest Human Penis

    There are always jokes floating around, and there probably have been for about 100,000 years, but nobody has ever had the actual clinical title before when it comes to the world’s longest penis. Jonah Falcon (yes, that’s his real name) is the unfortunate man cursed with this burden; he has a 13.5 inch penis. According to Jonah, he can envelop a door knob with his foreskin, and he hasn’t had a girlfriend in over 12 years. When asked why he doesn’t simply work in pornography, he cites his unwillingness to “take the easy way out,” but it’s not that simple. His penis is so large, that when he becomes fully erect he runs the risk of fainting from the lack of blood. That whole biggest penis thing — turns out it’s not so awesome after all.



    Most Concrete Blocks Broken in a Minute

    In 2009 a man by the name of Ali Bahçetepe went to Madrid to perform an act in front of live audiences — and Guinness judges. He was going to attempt to break the world record for the highest number of concrete blocks broken by hand in under a minute. Ali savagely ripped through 888 blocks in a whirlwind blitz. The sheer awesomeness of that is almost too much to fathom without video evidence, which we luckily have.



    Most Krystal Burgers Eaten in 8 Minutes

    In stark contrast to feats of athleticism and penile capabilities, Joey Chestnut prefers to beat lesser men at the game of eating. The guy wolfed down 103 Krystal burgers (that’s White Castle to some of you) in just under eight minutes back in 2007. Joey also holds records; including eating 47 grilled cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes, 45 pork pulled sandwiches in 10 minutes, 231 gyoza in ten minutes, and a slew of other foods in mind-bendingly short periods of time as well. 



    Heaviest Weight Lifted

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    Of all the strongmen in the world, past and present, none have ever beaten the legend. Paul Anderson, an American, was nothing short of a behemoth. In June of 1957, he lifted an astonishing 6,270 lbs in a backlift. The man was a monster, and his record hasn’t been beaten to this day — probably because nobody has been crazy enough to try it.



    Greatest Distance Attained for a Jet of Semen

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    Finally, the absolutely most ridiculously manly accomplishment in the history of mankind. Horst Shultz is such a beast of a man that he was able to fire his semen an unheard-of 18 feet, nine inches. Not only did he max out the distance record to a point that seems unbeatable, but he holds the record for height (over 12 feet) as well as force of ejaculation — clocked at almost 43 mph.

  • 10 Incredibly Sexy “Sports” That Should Be in the Olympics

    From the Ancient Olympic games in 776 BC to the Winter Olympic games this year, we’ve been captivated by the limits of the human body and athleticism demonstrated by (almost all) Olympians. Sometimes the games are worth watching (figure skating), while others are not (curling). What we want to see though, are some sexy sports that are often ignored (as some say they should be). Here are 10 incredibly sexy “sports” that should be in the Olympics.

    Jell-O Wrestling

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    Seeing two taut, young, sweaty, scantily-clad women have at it in a wrestling match isn’t always a fun experience — let’s face it, not all professional women fighters are hot. Throw some Jell-O and bikinis into the mix, make sure the girls are hot, and things can get quite entertaining. Imagine Jell-O wrestling as an Olympic sport; there’s already wrestling for medals, but this would be ten times better. Mud wrestling was initially considered here, but Jell-O is far more slippery — and tasty.

    Surfing

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    Surfing is one of those sports that actually is pretty hardcore, but still isn’t considered an Olympic sport. There’s curling, but no surfing, seriously? Either way, there are serious competitions in the sport, and if you ever get the chance to watch any of the women compete — we highly recommend it. If you somehow don’t find the sport watchable, at least check out the tight surf tops and micro bikini bottoms the chicks wear. It’s not difficult, there are literally hundreds of calendars dedicated to it. Maybe if you’re lucky, someone will lose a piece of swimwear in the crashing waves — live on camera.

    Roller Derby

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    Roller Derby is an American-invented contact sport, with a definite female predominance — and we don’t mind it one bit. Most circuits are amateur unpaid gigs, but we believe it should be considered an Olympic sport. Anyone who thinks these roller girls aren’t athletes should take a closer look: these girls could kick your ass — and then take your lunch money. They come out of bouts with some wicked battle wounds at times, and their uniforms usually consist of fishnets in some form, underwear, and a bra.

    Competitive Runway

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    Ok, it may seem ridiculous, but think about it for a second. These women strutting the catwalk are there for a reason, and it’s because they’re not unattractive — in fact, they’re hot. These female specimens are meant to model clothes, and even if the wraithlike type of model isn’t your thing, well, there are all shapes and colors to enjoy. Imagine how challenging it is putting on such a serious face, and having to walk flawlessly in towering heels with thousands of eyes gazing at you, watching your every move. Still not convinced? Get Bowie to judge it, like in Zoolander.

    Strip Poker

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    There have been debates on whether or not poker should be included as an Olympic sport, and many shun it simply because it’s not “athletic enough.” Again, we’ll drop curling in here as the perfect example of Olympian non-athleticism. That aside, we think that not only should poker be included as an Olympic sport, but that it should be spiced up — as strip poker. Watching a group of dudes around a table can get dry, but throw in some women removing articles of clothing? Count us in.

    Bikini Tug O War

    We realize that tug of war might not seem like a real sport, but it is — they even have world championships. It can be fun watching a bunch of guys fall onto each other when losing at tug of war, but it would be even better with a bunch of bikini-clad women. We couldn’t really find any pictures to do this example justice, so we turned to this amazing video of Asian hotties playing tug o war and getting messy to fairly ridiculous proportions.

    Cheerleading

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    While cheerleaders started off — and often stay — at the sidelines, the sport has become widely competitive. Those little tarts cheering for the Dallas Cowboys aren’t the only cheerleaders we’re talking about here, though they are pretty hot. The tumbling, stunting, toe-touching, and microscopically “mini” uniforms should be more than enough to get your engine revving. For now we will have to settle with the cheerleaders on the sidelines at the Olympic volleyball games — yummy.

    Miniskirt Billiards

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    Pool is technically recognized by the IOC as an Olympic sport, it has still NOT been in the Olympic games — though it did come close to being in the 2004 Summer Olympics. Maybe next time around in 2012 the committee will select pool, and allow all female participants to wear super miniskirts like the ones shown above. It would make viewers more than happy.

    Lingerie Football

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    Yes, the Lingerie Football League is real, and it comes in the form seven-on-seven tackle football.  The origins of this kinky sport lie in the halftime Lingerie Bowl of the Super Bowl — it was so popular that it was created into a league. It’s full-contact, so the girls do have to wear some protective gear, like shoulder pads, elbow pads, knee pads, and ice hockey-style helmets. A few more teams have been announced for next season, but we so wish this would spread internationally.

    Pole Dancing

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    Pole dancing is often associated with strippers, but it can be a legitimate performing art that requires extreme body discipline. There is a movement worldwide attempting to get it recognized as an actual sport — it does include a bit of gymnastics after all. While we don’t see this becoming an Olympic sport any time soon — despite the push for it — we can only hope to see it in 2012. For now, the Miss Pole Dance World competition will have to suffice.

  • 21 John Mayer Douchism Motivationals

    Most celebrities, at one time or another, have said something in front of a camera or into a microphone that they later wish they hadn’t. There are also times when comments are taken out of context and seem a lot worse than they really were. With John Mayer, we wish that were the case. There’s no way to sugarcoat it — every time this guy opens his mouth, something douchey comes out of it. Here are 21 of the finest John Mayer douchisms, formatted in the only way you might get any benefit from them, as motivational posters.


  • 15 of the Hottest Women to Ever Get Cheated On

    Cheating — lots of men do it. Not just on annoying, nagging girlfriends with a few too many extra pounds, either. Sometimes, for mysterious reasons, men cheat on beautiful and intelligent women who look like the perfect package to any outsider. Even more strange is their choice of mistresses. The men straying from their gorgeous gals often seem to choose dilapidated women well past their sell-by date to cheat with. From a one-time fling to a serial sex addict, or a beautiful younger woman versus a scary looking street hooker, a lot of these extra-marital activities make you wonder “what was he thinking?” Here are some of the hottest women to ever get cheated on.

    Sienna Miller

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    Sienna Miller is a drop dead gorgeous model and actress who had a tumultuous and controversial marriage to actor Jude Law. Their relationship was under constant scrutiny from the tabloids after Law’s affair with the family nanny surfaced. Daisy Wright had a months-long affair with Law in Miller’s house, and although Wright says she was ’swept off her feet’ by Law, she realizes that he was strictly using her for sex. Law encouraged Wright to have a threesome with him, and she kept a detailed diary of the whole affair. Law even tried to convince her to see him after the affair was discovered — and he had issued a public apology to Sienna. He was busted with his fling when one of the couple’s children discovered Law in bed with the younger woman and tattled to mommy.

    The couple tried to work out their differences, but ultimately went their separate ways less than a year later.

    Elin Nordegren

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    Most people know her as “Tiger Woods’ Wife.” Elin Nordegren is a smoking hot Swedish model who recently discovered Woods was having an affair with a trashy looking porn star. She proceeded to chase him with a golf club, causing lacerations to his face and breaking the back windshield of his Escalade as he tried to escape.

    Woods was found to have cheated with a number of women, claimed he had a ‘problem’ and entered sex rehab. He later faced accusations that his rehab stint was for drugs, and not sex at all. Either way, Woods’ real problem was ruining his relationship with one of the hottest girls on the planet for sex with a few greasy looking money grubbers.

    Vanessa Bryant

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    Vanessa Bryant is a former music video girl, which is how she met husband and Lakers star Kobe Bryant. Bryant was working on his own album — which was never released — and noticed the seventeen year old Vanessa dancing at a video shoot. They married in 2000, when Bryant was only 22.

    In 2003, Kobe was accused of rape against a young hotel worker named Katelyn Faber. He denied the allegations, but admitted to consensual sex with the girl. His cheating — and possibly raping — ways not only put incredible emotional strain on his relationship, but cost him sponsorships from McDonalds and Nutella. In 2008, Kobe became the subject of controversy when he was accused of having an affair with former Lakers Girl, Vanessa Curry. What was he thinking?

    Lauren Conrad

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    Lauren Conrad may be an annoying, bratty, air-headed debutante, but there’s no denying that she’s super hot. In an interview with Us Magazine, Conrad admits turning a blind eye to boyfriends who she knew were cheating on her while she appeared in MTV’s The Hills. Much of that show is so staged that it’s almost insulting, but Conrad claims that her feelings and low self-esteem were all too real; the former reality TV starlet says that the ‘backstabbing’ wouldn’t go unnoticed again.

    Halle Berry

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    R&B singer Eric Benet checked into rehab for sex addiction after accusations that he had been cheating on total sexpot actress Halle Berry. Benet later claimed that he wasn’t addicted to sex, after all, but had simply made some ’stupid-ass mistakes.’ Stupid ass is right, Benet — there are armies of men who would kill for a chance to merely speak with Berry. Although Berry went out of her way to celebrate his one year anniversary of breaking free from sex addiction, the couple split six months after he ‘relapsed.’ One of Benet’s first excuse — that he cheated in an attempt to save the marriage– clearly failed.

    Denise Richards

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    Denise Richards split with Charlie Sheen for more than just cheating. Richards claimed that he frequently bought prostitutes — a baffling act, considering Richards’ amazing body and gorgeous face. The remainder of her complaint list is bizarre, to say the least: verbal abuse, 9/11 conspiracy theories, gambling addiction, prescription pills, and an “abnormal fascination” with Nicole Simpson’s death all made it impossible for Richards to remain in the marriage.

    The accusations don’t stop there. Richards accused Sheen of assault, having a fetish for pornography bordering on pedophilia, and a strong desire to purchase gas masks and firearms. She also filed a restraining order against the man she described to sound like a meth addict in 2006.

    Reese Witherspoon

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    Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon were a picture-perfect, Barbie-and-Ken Hollywood couple. Both American actors, Witherspoon met Phillippe at her 21st birthday party. After seven years of marriage and countless sessions in marriage counseling, Witherspoon filed for divorce and cited ‘irreconcilable differences’.

    Phillippe had cheated with his co-star from the romantic drama Stop-Loss, a woman named Abbie Cornish. Witherspoon found out about the affair when Phillippe left his Blackberry unguarded in the bathroom; his wife’s prying eyes uncovered messages Phillippe could only explain by saying he “didn’t mean it.”

    Tea Leoni

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    Tea Leoni is part of another couple involved in multiple extra marital affairs which eventually led to sex rehab for someone. David Duchovny, in this case, cheated on Leoni for years before she demanded he enter rehab if their marriage were to be saved.

    Duchovny is the star of Californication, a Showtime series about a writer who frequently has flings with sexy younger women in California. Ironic or typical?

    Elizabeth Hurley

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    Elizabeth Hurley is a beautiful English model who became known for her movie roles, which were earned by her stunning looks alone. She’s also been on the cover of the British Vogue three times — Hurley is undoubtedly gorgeous. But the famous arm-candy wasn’t enough for British actor Hugh Grant, who was arrested for soliciting sex from haggard looking prostitute. The woman, nicknamed Divine Brown, was solicited by Grant for a $60 blow job. At least she made a little more by selling her story to the tabloids. Hurley and Grant split ‘amicably’ in May 2000.

    Jennifer Aniston

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    Jennifer Aniston is a girl-next-door type hottie who has been under the public eye for the last few years regarding her break up with ex-husband Brad Pitt. Before their divorce, Aniston claimed Pitt was cheating on her with just-as-beautiful actress Angelina Jolie on the set of a movie they were filming together. Although Pitt denies ever having cheated, he moved on to be with Jolie, and they now have several children. Since then, Aniston has bounced from guy to guy looking for her perfect match. John Mayer, her on and off again boyfriend, is also accused of cheating on the starlet. Photographs of Mayer in a hot tub with another woman turned out to be harmless, but his reputation and trustworthiness had already been ruined by the time Aniston saw them.

    Sandra Bullock

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    Sandra Bullock is an Academy Award winning actress whose versatility has earned her roles in just about every genre of film. Bullock is a classy beauty who manages to make even her goofy moments appealing and sexy. Bullock has just recently left her husband, motorcycle mogul Jesse James, for cheating on her with up to 11 women.

    The first mistress to crawl out of the woodwork was Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee, a fetish porn star experienced with foot fetish and goo fetish porn. Not only did Jesse lower his standards a considerable amount, but the woman looks like a scary tranny with hard-as-rock implants. Also, she’s a Nazi and enjoys dressing the part.

    Kim Kardashian

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    Kim Kardashian is famous for her role in a few insignificant reality television series, but she’s mostly known for her gigantic ass. Everyone loves Kardashian’s butt, but it apparently wasn’t enough to fill the needs of ex-boyfriend Reggie Bush. Bush, a professional football player, avoided issues in the relationship by having an affair with a waitress called January Gessert until his sneaky ways were discovered when photos were snapped of the two on a date. Bush had attempted to use multiple cell phones to hide his cheating, but was pretty much screwed when Gesserts stumbled over her words when explaining her connection to Bush an interview — she changed her story three times in the same sentence. Although Gessert is the most noteworthy girl Bush had on the side, she wasn’t the only one. He’s accused of hooking up with at least two other girls while maintaining a monogamous facade.

    Sophia Bush

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    Sophia Bush is the hottie from One Tree Hill who married her co-star, Chad Michael Murray, in 2005. For Murray, this ten just wasn’t enough; he cheated on Bush, leading her to file for divorce after only five months of marriage. The reason cited: Fraud. Bush had no trouble moving on, and was said to have been dating two other co-stars from One Tree Hill shortly after the split.

    Jennifer Lopez

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    Bootylicious J-Lo was the victim of cheating when then-boyfriend P Diddy strayed with Kim Porter on multiple occasions. Kim’s relationship with Diddy defied the laws of cheating, according to the multi-millionaire rapper. “It wasn’t cheating to me,” he said in an interview with the Power 105.1 radio station. Diddy also claimed that Lopez was guilty of cheating as well, and the couple split in 2003. Diddy went on to marry Porter, who is the mother of his three children.

    Rihanna

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    Rihanna’s cheating story pales in comparison to the real reason behind her breakup with singer Chris Brown. The drool-worthy pop star was the subject of controversy when her ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown, beat the living hell out of her outside of his car. The couple had gotten into an argument regarding flirtatious text messages from Brown’s 40-year-old manager when he lost his temper and things got violent. Brown repeatedly struck Rihanna in the face, causing lacerations and bruises that would last for days. This gross-looking older woman isn’t the only place Brown strayed to; he’s rumored to have had multiple one night stands while claiming dedication to the stunning and talented songstress.


  • 15 Stars of Tomorrow (Versus Today)

    While every generation has its share of those destined for the limelight, it seems that the crop gets a bit thinner as time marches on. The stars our parents and grandparents idolized in their youth are revered to this day, whereas the new stars and starlets of Hollywood often just don’t measure up. The brightest stars of ten short years ago are already seeing themselves replaced by younger, hipper versions of themselves, and more often than not it’s a heavy downgrade. However, some aren’t so bad, some are actually great. These are the 15 stars of Tomorrow (versus today and yesterday)

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    Jonas Brothers vs. The Beatles

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    There once was a time when young women the world over went absolutely mad at the merest mention of The Beatles. Girls fainted, parents became enraged, preachers burned albums and radio stations played them nonstop. Today, that sort of excitement just isn’t generated by any single band, unless you call the Jonas Brothers a band. These kids have probably collected more panties via fanmail than Victoria’s Secret sells in a month. The trite garbage they put out could barely be called music, and yet they’re world-renowned superstars as far as record companies and radio stations are concerned.



    Robert Pattinson vs. Brad Pitt

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    Pretty boy or not, Brad Pitt has risen to become one of the most loved male actors of his time. He’s played roles that nobody thought could suit him, and he pulled it off perfectly — time and again. He’s one of few male actors who not only makes women swoon, but gives guys a good laugh and no cause for hate. Who is taking the spotlight from him today? None other than Robert Pattinson, wannabe vampire extraordinaire. Pitt played a gritty, classical vampire in his earlier days, in a role that helped rocket him into stardom. Pattinson has become a superstar on the sole basis that he plays the most pathetic, lamest vampire in the history of vampire movies.



    Miley Cyrus vs. Shirley Temple

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    For generations, people grew up thinking of Shirley Temple when they heard the phrase “child star.” Today, if anyone mentions the term, the first hideous face to pop into the minds of most people walking this Earth is that of Miley Cyrus. This vapid, skanky, underage manifestation of everything that’s gone terribly wrong with Disney in the last 20 years has taken the entire planet by storm. Her name is everywhere, and it’s only a matter of time until she leaves her Hannah Montana moniker behind for more adult pastures — and it will only get worse.



    Zoe Saldana vs. Halle Berry

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    This one has the potential to be acceptable, even welcomed. Zoe Saldana has been around for a little while now, quietly played roles in films that nobody notices, until just recently when she scored the coveted role of Uhura in the Star Trek reboot franchise. Thus far in her career, Saldana has turned out to be similar in many ways to Halle Berry, who has lost most of her mainstream luster in the past few years. The young Saldana easily matches Berry’s looks, and it seems that she may be showing up a bit more frequently in upcoming blockbusters. We’re just fine with seeing more of her.



    Shia LaBeouf vs. Tom Cruise

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    Say what you will about Tom Cruise as he is today, but the man was one hell of an action hero for two solid decades. That being said, he’s still one of the names that comes to mind when anyone thinks of Hollywood. His time in the spotlight is beginning to wane, though. His likely replacement — as far as fame is concerned? It could very well be Shia LaBeouf. Yes. Shia. You might actually miss the whole Crazy Tom thing 20 years from now, when Shia LaBeouf is the richest actor in Hollywood.



    Daniel Radcliffe vs. Matthew Broderick

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    A few years ago, and this would have not only sounded insane, but it would have been a very angry outburst of disbelief. Today, Radcliffe has shown, over the years, that he’s not growing up to be a complete douchebag. He’s not that bad at all, really, and he’s got his sights set on theater — more than film. One other guy comes to mind when thinking about young, successful actor who would rather pursue theater than continue his wildly successful movie career: Matthew Broderick. It’s just fine by us if Mr. Potter would like to take a similar career path to that of My. Bueller.



    Michael Cera vs. Hugh Grant

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    We’re not quite sure how to phrase this one. Hugh Grant was a plague in his own right, even if he did play a role or two that were mildly entertaining during his lengthy, sporadically successful career — but Michael Cera is not turning out to be a very likable kid. He plays the exact same role, over and over again, under different billing. He gets paid loads of money to stand around on set, looking awkward, while lighting technicians work hard to make him look more awkward as he gawks at a girl with indie looks under harsher, but more photogenic lighting. It’s uncanny how both he and Hugh Grant can share the exact same skill set, and be so completely different in every other way…



    Justin Bieber vs. Donny Osmond

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    It’s hard to decide who is or was more ridiculous; Justin Bieber or Donny Osmond. Both of them have so much in common, from their girlish looks and throngs of female fans (who far exceed their age groups) to their vocals — which can only be likened to that of a boy with clearly undescended testicles. While Osmond grew up to find that his career had vanished before his eyes, young Bieber is only getting started. Unfortunately, in this new world of instant recognition (partly powered by social networks like Twitter), the girlish, talentless Bieber is raking in millions while his success is at a peak. We can only hope that when his fan-base stops growing when he does.



    Emma Watson vs. Jennifer Connelly

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    This one’s not so bad; Emma Watson is growing more like Ms. Connelly with every passing year. Jennifer Connelly got her biggest break with The Labyrinth, an epic fantasy piece that millions hold dear to this day. She hates it. She completely disowned the film years ago and has never relented. In much the same way, Emma Watson becomes increasingly vocal about her discontent with every release of a new Harry Potter installment. She doesn’t go as far as disowning the franchise, but she doesn’t want to be forever associated with it, and has very serious plans for her acting career and future in general. Also much like Connelly, Watson is growing up to be a seriously beautiful woman — and she’s definitely got a future ahead of her.



    Zac Efron vs. Leonardo DiCaprio

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    When DiCaprio first broke onto the scene, he was easily disliked and even hated by men — while women of all ages immediately swooned. He surprised everyone as he grew older to become a serious actor, with actual talent and even began writing and directing at a level usually not seen until much later in an actor’s career. Zac Efron, on the other hand, is getting star treatment that he not only hasn’t earned, but that he is obviously incapable of ever earning. “Vapid” barely scratches the surface of this kid’s worthlessness in the talent arena, and he’s going nowhere but up. 



    Megan Fox vs. Angelina Jolie

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    We’re really not quite sure yet as to whether or not this is a good thing, because we haven’t had a chance to see young Fox play a truly serious role thus far in her career. From a purely eye-candy standpoint, it’s great; who could complain that the gorgeous Jolie has an understudy in the looks department that is ready and willing to take up her mantle and magazine cover-space? The only thing in question at this point is how Megan Fox will stack up against her elder’s formidable list of movie roles in the years to come.



    Taylor Swift vs. Faith Hill

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    Looking past the already somewhat flat nature of their particular genre of music (sorry all you fans out there), Taylor Swift is poised to be the next Faith Hill, and she’s not wasting any time getting there. Now that Faith’s getting on into her 40’s, she’s leaving a gap open in the industry for another beautiful, fair-haired young songstress to take her place — and Swift is perfect for the job.



    Lady Gaga vs Madonna

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    Madonna is and always has been a love her or hate her kind of superstar, and her wild success is impossible to negate — regardless of what side of the fence you happen to fall on. In the newest generation of glammed-up stars running amok on the scene, there is only one young lady that comes to mind when the thought of old Madge finally exiting the stage: Lady Gaga. It’s obvious that Madonna played a huge role in Gaga’s development as she’s grown massively huge in her still-newborn career, and at the rate she’s growing it’s really only a matter of time before she outsells Madonna herself. Love her or hate her, Lady Gaga is going to be here for a long time.



    Dakota Fanning vs. Nicole Kidman

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    Another replacement of sorts that can only be a good thing: Dakota Fanning, young as she may be, is shaping up to be something like the next Nicole Kidman. Like Kidman, she’s got the acting chops to fill any role, and the solid career to back her up — even though she’s only 16 years old. Fanning was off to a decently good start in show business when she got her first huge break in 2004 with Man on Fire, starring opposite none other than Denzel Washington himself. The girl stole hearts worldwide and has only gone upwards from there. Now that she’s quickly approaching fully adult status in the industry, she’s building up her credentials and biding her time. Kidman and Fanning have similar looks alright, but it’s the potential and versatility that really hit the mark to make this girl a possible replacement for an exiting star.



    Zachary Quinto vs. Gary Oldman

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    At first glance this could look like a possible slight towards Gary Oldman, but on further exploration, it’s really not. Quinto got his start in the wildly successful — if poorly scripted — Heroes. His character was the instant favorite, not because of the overwhelming power and dark back-story that came with it, but because of the madness so easily portrayed by Quinto while playing the role. Not to be typecast, Quinto quickly moved on to secure the coveted role of Spock in the recent Star Trek reboot, proving his versatility in a way no one saw coming. Very few actors have ever shown the ability to portray both insanity as well as perfect lucidity, and even fewer could do it so well that they could make homicidal psychosis look natural. Gary Oldman is usually the first name that comes to mind when the subject comes up — and Quinto could very well follow in the man’s footsteps if his career path continues along the path it’s on now.




  • Scarlett Johansson’s Sexy Black Widow [PICS]


    Scarlett Johansson Looking DAMN Sexy as Black Widow

    Geeks Are Sexy asks the question: Is Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow sexier than Catwoman? What do you think?

    Original Link: Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow: Sexier than Catwoman?


  • 12 Criminally Insane Real-World Medical Professionals

    At the foundation of the entire medical field lies the all-encompassing single premise: Do no harm. While there have been a number of medical professionals throughout history who have gone slightly against the grain with good intentions in order to achieve great discoveries, there have also been those who only sought to do harm. These individuals walked into hospitals with deadly intentions, often abusing and killing their patients. The motives of murder by a medical professional aren’t easy to comprehend, but these are history’s 12 most criminally insane real-world medical professionals.



    Dr. Cecil Jacobson

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    Cecil Jacobson showed promise in his career early on — given the odd nature of his studies. Working on a project involving cases of pregnant women who had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer, his research brought him to experimenting on baboons. He successfully impregnated a male baboon by implanting a female baboon’s egg into the ape’s abdominal cavity, and almost let it carry to term. Seems strange, but it was all for a good cause, right? Aside from enraging PETA, things really got out of hand about 30 years later when he was sentenced to five years in jail for malpractice. He was found guilty of various acts; falsely misleading patients to believe they were pregnant was just the start of it. One once occasion he went as far as inseminating a woman — who had a sterile husband — with his own sperm. He was officially the father of eight legitimate children, but through his crimes the estimated number is upwards of 75.



    James Arthur Ray

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    James Arthur Ray was one of the many Oprah-approved self-help gurus, but he took that particular pop-culture luxury a bit too far. He peddled a ritual of “cleansing” that was so ridiculous, it ended in several deaths. The grueling rituals stretched for days at a time, and included lengthy stays in sweat lodges — all while he raked in thousands of dollars per session. More than 20 customers suffered heat-related illnesses, but how did Ray react? Witnesses heard him tell customers that it was “a good day to die,” as he encouraged customers to keep pushing, despite profuse vomiting. In October 2009, three customers died during sessions, and in February 2010 he was finally charged with manslaughter, negligence, and fraud — but of course he’s pleading Not Guilty to all that.



    Dr. Earl Bradley

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    February 22, 2010: Pediatrician Earl Bradley is charged by Delaware officials with sexually abusing 103 patients over a 10 year period. Altogether, between child endangerment, assault, and rape, Bradley managed to rack up 471 felony counts. To add further insult to injury, he recorded most of the incidents on film — with one such video’s discovery leading to his arrest. Guess he should have found a better hiding place than in his office.



    Dr. Harold “Frank” Shipman

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    Dr. Harold “Frank” Shipman was, for a long time, considered a respected practitioner in his community — despite his arrogance. It wasn’t until 1998 that sufficient evidence was gathered to convict Shipman of murdering his patients. Suspicion arose when people started to notice an unusually high mortality rate, as well as cremation forms, among Shipman’s patients. It was discovered that he intentionally overdosed his patients — now victims — and would then sign their death certificates before forging their medical records to make everything appear normal. Shipman was initially found guilty of killing 15 patients by lethal injection of diamorphine, but it was later discovered that his victims numbered upwards of 250 — or more. Though he was sentenced to a full life term, Shipman committed suicide by hanging, in early January 2004. 



    Dr. Linda Burfield Hazzard

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    Dr. Linda Burfield Hazzard was yet another snake-oil peddler who had a special “method” of cleansing, but she did her work back in 1907. Back then, it was hard to find someone who hadn’t been swayed by the latest and greatest medical “discoveries.” Hazzard set up shop in Seattle, Washington, and offered many variations on her published special method of forced starvation. She presented herself as the only licensed “fasting therapist” in the country, and lured in unsuspecting patients with promises of fantastic health benefits. As Hazzard’s methods caused her patients to grow weaker, she gradually convinced them to turn over their bank accounts and powers of attorney. Several died in her “care” as she became all the richer. In 1911, she finally targeted the wrong lady — a patient who managed to survive the “fasting” stood witness at Hazzard’s trial for murder. Unfortunately, she was only found guilty of manslaughter, and ended up serving a measly two years in prison.



    Dr. Josef Mengele

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    Noted German physician and SS Officer in the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp during World War II, Dr. Josef Mengele is probably history’s most notorious “Angel of Death.” Though he earned two doctorates by traditional means, Mengele chose to continue his studies on heredity by using the prisoners in the concentration camp as human guinea pigs. He showed a particular interest in studying twins, dwarfs and other physical abnormalities that the prisoners presented. Many of the tests Mengele conducted were unspeakably cruel, but included amputations, brutal “surgeries,” shock treatments, and outright killing pairs of twins to study their postmortem anatomy in depth. He escaped after the war, and was hunted as a war criminal for the rest of his life — but he evaded capture, living in Brazil until his death in 1979. It’s rumored that he continued his studies on twins — although in ways far more humane — while he resided in Brazil. The area in which he was known to live and visit has an abnormally high occurrence of blonde-haired, blue-eyes twins to this day. It cannot be explained.



    Shiro Ishii

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    Shiro Ishii was a Japanese microbiologist who was in charge of Biological Warfare Unit 731 of the Imperial Japanese Army during the Second Sino-Japanese War. Under the cover of “water-purification work,” Ishii began testing his germ warfare agents on prisoners of war and Chinese civilians. It’s estimated that tens of thousands died in his experiments, and that wasn’t even the worst of it. Ishii also conducted physiological experiments on humans that included impregnation by rape, often followed by forced abortions, STD infections by rape and injection, induced or simulated strokes, induced heart attacks, and finally, induced frostbite as well as hypothermia. All in the name of science.

    The Re-Birthers

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    Rebirthing is another term for attachment therapy, commonly used amongst foster or adoptive parents and caseworkers. It’s usually considered a controversial category of alternative child mental-health interventions used to treat attachment disorders suffered by adopted children. We say controversial, because it seems to spark a bit of interest any time it kills the patient — as there have been at least six documented cases of child fatalities. In 2000, a ten year-old girl died of asphyxiation when her rebirthing session went horribly wrong. The girl, Candace, was wrapped tightly in layers of blankets, and then forced to struggle — in order to be “reborn.” The child had to fight against the combined weight of her therapists and adopted mother — totaling almost 700 pounds. Candace couldn’t make it out of the suffocating blanket rolls, and died. Her “therapists” were only sentenced to 16 years in prison, and the rebirthing method was banned in Colorado after the incident.



    Donald Harvey

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    Self-professed “Angel of Death,” hospital orderly Donald Harvey went undetected for quite a while before his murders came to light. He claims to have murdered 87 people, though official estimates have only been able to put that number at around 36 to 57. Harvey used numerous methods to kill; including arsenic, cyanide, insulin, suffocation, miscellaneous lesser-known poisons, morphine, powering down ventilators, administration of fluid tainted with hepatitis B and/or HIV, and finally: Insertion of a coat hanger into a catheter, causing an abdominal puncture. Real angel, this guy. Despite some of the more creative methods employed, cyanide and arsenic were his favorites. He’s currently serving four life sentences for his heinous crimes.




    Dr. Michael Swango

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    Dr. Michael Swango’s issues were first discovered when he attended Southern Illinois University Medical School — he had a strange fascination with watching people die. He was nearly expelled from the school after faking several check-ups, but the university allowed him to graduate under condition that he repeat missed course work. He then managed to get a surgical internship at Ohio State University, despite the terrible recommendation he received. Nurses noticed that many healthy patients under his care were dying mysteriously, and he was eventually sentenced to five years in prison after sufficient evidence was brought against him. After serving his sentence, Swango was able to get a job at another hospital by falsifying records, and continued in his dangerous ways until he was caught a second time, and finally arraigned in 2000. Though he only confessed to three murders this time around, he is currently serving a life sentence — and the true extent of his evil will never be known.



    Dr. H.H. Holmes

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    Herman Webster Mudgett, better known as Dr. Henry Howard Holmes, graduated from the Univerity of Michigan Medical School in 1884. His main hobby was stealing cadavers from the school laboratory to later disfigure and set up to fraudulently claim insurance money with — but it didn’t end there. Holmes built a three block-long “Castle,” as the neighborhood locals called it, where he began torturing, suffocating, raping and experimenting on his victims.  The best part? He often liked to dissect his victims, strip the flesh, and craft them into skeletal models, which he then sold to medical schools as legitimate study tools.



    U.S. Public Health Service

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    In 1972, the Tuskegee Syphilis Study became public. Over a period of 40 years — from 1932 until 1972 — the U.S. Public Health Service took 399 poor black sharecropper men, all of whom were infected with syphillis, and gave them various experimental treatments. This doesn’t seem too strange, until you get to the part where the government had the nerve to do all this in secret. They did not tell any of the men that they were infected. The human guinea pigs were simply told that they had “bad blood,” a general term used back then to describe several illnesses, including anemia, syphilis, and general fatigue. Although penicillin, used to treat syphilis, was discovered in 1947, that particular treatment was withheld from the men. So, what did were the Tuskegee scientists after? They wanted to study how the disease spread and killed the infected. They acted in the hopes that they could gather more data during autopsy that would show how blacks reacted differently than whites to syphilis. It wasn’t until 1997 — 25 years later — that the government formally apologized for their actions.


  • 15 Movie Stunts Gone Horribly Wrong

    Stunts are something that we often take for granted. Audiences love watching large explosions, high-speed chase scenes, and insane aerial tricks. But at what cost? The job of a stuntman is a dangerous one. Most Hollywood actors don’t perform their own stunts; not only are they often life-threatening, but they require long hours of training and preparation to execute as safely as possible. Even then, many dangerous stunts can easily end in injury or death — even when being performed by the most skilled and highly trained professionals in the business. Here are some stunts that just didn’t work out right.

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I

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    Harry Potter isn’t typically a name that stirs up words like ‘dangerous’ or ‘paralyzed from the waist down’, but they’re appropriate when describing a botched stunt during the filming of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I. Daniel Radcliffe, who plays Potter himself, has multiple scenes in which he darts around through the air on a broomstick. It looks great, kids love it, and it’s completely fake. So fake that Radcliffe isn’t even the real subject being filmed in a lot of the crazy, action-packed scenes. Radcliffe had a stunt double for most of his flying sequences, one of which involved a explosion.

    The stunt didn’t go as planned. During a practice run, the explosion knocked the stunt double onto his ass. His lights weren’t knocked out, but the feeling in his legs definitely was. The young man was rushed to a hospital where he hopes to make a full recovery.

    Nicholas Cage

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    Nicholas Cage has made some awful movies, including one where he dresses up in a bear suit and punches women and children square in the face. But the real tragedy in Cage’s career happened while he was filming an action movie in NYC, and it didn’t involve him at all. A stuntman was driving a ferrari through the crowded city streets of Times Square when he accidentally drove into an Olive Garden. Two customers were injured, but the driver was fine.

    The Twilight Zone Movie

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    One of the most infamous movie stunts to go horribly wrong was the tragedy during the 1983 filming of The Twilight Zone movie. A helicopter being flown without taking the proper safety precautions took the lives of three of the movie’s cast — and it was all caught on tape. The video shows an explosion rending the tail rotor of a chopper flying at a dangerously low 25 feet, causing it to spin out of control and decapitate Vic Morrow and two children actors, only six and seven years old.

    The horrible accident led to amendments of the regulations regarding children actors working on movie sets, and was the subject of a decade long lawsuit.

    The Crow

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    The Crow’s trivia is so popular that it’s almost common knowledge; the movie developed a cult following after it’s completion, largely due to the mishap which ended in a mysterious death. The film’s main character, Brandon Lee (son of Bruce Lee), was to get shot toward the end of the film with a prop gun. The gun was supposed to be filled with gunpowder only, but for some reason contained a fatal blank cartridge as well. The shot hit Lee in the stomach, and caused a death that was the summation of many mysterious accidents on The Crow’s set.

    Earlier, a carpenter was injured but survived serious electrical burns from contact with high-voltage power lines. Another carpenter drove his car into the studio’s plaster shop in a fit of rage, a worker suffered injuries after impaling his hand on a screwdriver, and a stuntmen plummeted through the roof of a set.

    XXX

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    XXX is the kind of movie that’s so great because of how absurdly terrible it is. It contains all the elements necessary to make a hilariously bad action flick: blatantly impossible stunts, a thin-as-paper plot involving saving the world, and Vin Diesel. Diesel plays an arrogant criminal named Xander Cage (yes, really) whose force is left unchallenged by the government, which eventually must recruit him in the war against an evil man attempting to destroy civilization as we know it.

    Unfortunately, an individual named Harry O’Connor died during the creation of this C-grade movie. The first take of his stunt, parasailing in the background of a scene, was executed perfectly. The second take ran much less smoothly: O’Connor was killed instantly when he crashed into a bridge pillar. Needless to say, the first take was the one used in the film.

    Top Gun

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    Top Gun is an 80’s classic, an action-romance film about a handsome young pilot attending Naval School where he must prove himself among a crowd of rowdy and judgmental students. Action packed and all about airplanes, this movie called for a number of risky air stunts.

    A professional air stuntman named Art Scholl was hired to perform many of the in-flight camera work for Top Gun. Scholl was incredibly talented and experienced, and had done aerial filming for commercials, television and film like The Right Stuff and The A-Team. Top Gun would prove to be the last film he worked on. During a maneuver called a flat spin, Scholl was unable to recover the airplane to its regular position for reasons that still remain unknown. “I have a problem,” he said, “I have a real problem,” before crashing into the Pacific Ocean. Neither Scholl nor his airplane were ever recovered.

    Gothika

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    Remember Gothika? The one about Halle Berry waking up in a mental institution because she’s a psychiatrist convinced a ghost tried to kill her? No? That’s okay, neither does anyone else. At least Halle Berry did most of her own fights and stunts, something which cost her a broken arm. After one of her more “physically demanding” scenes got a little too physical, Berry was rushed to the hospital with a broken ulna. Her injury delayed filming, which was halfway done at the time of her accident, but was completed and released in the end of 2003.

    The Lord of the Rings

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    Viggo Mortensen is generally known as that badass dad from The Road, but he started in a much different place. While performing his breakthrough role as Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Viggo was referred to as ‘the walking wounded’ by the film’s director. He performed all of his own stunts and frequently suffered injury while doing so; he even knocked out one of his teeth during one scene. The tooth was repaired during the crew’s lunch break and Viggo promptly returned to work afterward.

    L.A. Heat

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    Experienced stuntman Paul Dallas fell to his death during a free fall stunt being performed for television series LA Heat. Dallas was known as a “high faller,” and had years of experience flawlessly executing free falls that reached heights of over 100 feet in multiple movies and television shows. Only 34 years old, the stuntman was to fall 53 feet onto an air bag produced by his own personally owned air bag company.

    Dallas was supposed to flip over the metal railing on a concrete ledge at a steam plant, lifted with the assistance of a so-called ‘apple box.’ The box was supported by four crew members, and the flip was expected to launch Dallas several feet into the air before he descended on the airbag below. However, his projection was miscalculated and much shorter than intended. The unlucky stuntman arched his body in mid-air — a clear sign that Dallas knew he was in trouble. The arch didn’t help him move further out into the air and he landed on the airbag with only the lower half of his body, causing him to rocket violently into the pavement head first. Dallas was declared dead on the scene of the accident.

    Semi-Pro

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    Will Ferrel is known for his side-splitting comedies, which often contain ridiculous and hilarious imagery. Semi-Pro was no different, and one scene called for a giant grizzly bear for wrestle with the star himself. Bears can be trained to do all sorts of things, like ride bikes and even hang out in a hot tub with humans without mauling them to death. In fact, they can appear to be quite friendly after years of training by a skilled professional. However, the animals are still wild and unpredictable — no matter how well behaved they’ve been taught to act. The bear used in Semi-Pro upheld this theory when it lashed out in a shocking and unwarranted rage. Fortunately for Ferrel, his scene was completed without incident. The bear’s trainer, Randy Miller, was not so lucky.

    While in the company of three trainers, the 7 foot tall grizzly named Rocky tore into the neck of Miller with its enormous jaws. Miller’s coworkers made a vain attempt to pry the animal’s mouth from its death grip, but Miller died on the spot from blood loss.

    The Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular

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    Indiana Jones is one of the most popular action series ever produced, and each film is packed full of dangerous and thrilling stunts. Although all Indiana Jones movies have been completed safely and successfully, the Walt Disney World’s version of the Jones legacy at Hollywood Studios was not as lucky. Called The Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular, the performance was intended to imitate a movie set that was capturing a series of fights, explosions, and flying stunts — all live.

    Stuntman Anislav Varbanov died from head injuries while practicing a fast tumbling roll, only a week after a similar stunt show in the studios took another man’s life as well. Mark Priest was another to die of head injuries after hitting his head on a wall during a show based on the Pirates of the Caribbean films. Although he joked about his condition on the way to the hospital, Priest quickly fell into a coma and died.

    The Skywayman

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    The 1920s saw the insurgence of movie flight scenes, using the help of aerial performers who were gaining popularity across America at the time. One of the most popular stuntmen, Ormer Locklear, became Hollywood’s first famous stunt pilot. Known mostly for being able to walk on the wings of his plane during flight, Locklear was recruited to complete another frightening feat called “the transfer.” The stunt called for Locklear to remove himself from one aircraft and enter another — in mid air. Amazingly, Locklear performed this stunt multiple times without incident, performing both car-to-plane and plane-to-plane transfers.

    Soon after, the renowned stuntman was to perform a simulated night time crash for a film called The Skywayman. Flares were attached to the side of the plane in order to make the plane appear to be on fire, but it was the lights from the movie studio’s spotlights which botched the performance. Blinded by the glare, Locklear spun out of control and crashed, dying instantly.

    The Dark Knight

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    Heath Ledger wasn’t the only life lost in the making of 2008’s The Dark Knight. Stunt technician Conway Wickliffe was killed upon impact when a camera truck crashed into a tree. The tragedy occurred only a few weeks into filming.

    A Vampire in Brooklyn

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    Sonja Davis was a respected and skilled stuntwoman who had performed in action films like Timecop and Deep Cover. She was no stranger to the business, and had done her fair share of ‘free falls’, a stunt in which the performer leaps from a great height and lands on a soft pad or net hidden off-screen. During the filming of Wes Craven’s 1995 comedy-horror Vampire in Brooklyn, Davis’s execution of a 45 foot backwards drop ended in tragedy.

    Paramount Pictures were later cited for providing the stuntwoman with an airbag not equipped for a fall from such a height — one of the contributing factors which lead to her death. Although Davis landed on the landing pad, her head smacked the pavement just outside its edges. No emergency medical team was present on the team, and it took fifteen minutes for one to arrive in Davis’ aid. Paramount Pictures received another citation for this, along with an additional one for failing to properly train Davis for the stunt.

    Romancing the Stone

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    Two lovers from opposite walks of life embark on a wild adventure to find hidden jungle treasure in the 1984 action film Romancing The Stone. The movie contains stunts similar to those in Indiana Jones – swinging from trees, insane explosions, battling the strong currents of violent waters. One stunt called for two stuntmen, doubling as the film’s two leads, to jump from a small car as it fell off the side of a 70-foot high waterfall. The couple were meant to land in the calmer water surrounding the high speed whirlpool at the bottom. Unfortunately, the small hidden platform which was meant to support their leaps buckled.

    Terry Leonard, who was doubling for Michael Douglas, was unable to perform the dramatic swan dive he had hoped for and instead landed directly inside the whirlpool, which pushed him down beneath the current. Leonard was able to kick his way to the top where he was pulled from the water. Vince Deadrick, doubling for Kathleen Turner, also had to be rescued. He had landed nearby but suffered a harsh impact to his ribs, leaving him stunned but still alive.


  • 15 of the Trashiest People to Ever Become Famous

    Celebrities are just like regular people, only with tons and tons of money. Despite their acting or singing talents which brought them the spotlight to begin with, celebrities’ personalities don’t always shine so bright. Here are some of the trashiest people to ever become famous.

    Ke$ha

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    Pop singer Ke$ha is literally Taylor Swift after a week of binge drinking and promiscuous sex. People everywhere are calling her the ‘trashy version’ of America’s sweetheart. Her life story is more commendable than she would lead you to believe it deserves to be; Ke$ha came from a poor family that was unable to buy her fancy clothes or expensive things, making her fashion options extremely limited. When life gave her garbage, Ke$ha made garbage juice by creating her own style in which she would accentuate her flaws instead of attempt to hide them. Ke$ha adopted the self proclaimed ‘garbage chic’ look as her own and ran with it. However, being a huge star hasn’t convinced her to clean up her act, which isn’t very original at all. Her lyrics are the same:

    I’m talking about – everybody getting crunk, crunk
    Boys trying to touch my junk, junk
    Gonna smack him if he gets too drunk, drunk

    Ke$ha even managed to offend a bunch of people at the Grammys just by showing up — the girl looked like a slob.

    Michelle “Bombshell” McGee

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    It’s a crying shame that this woman gets any kind of recognition at all. She looks like a graceless and aging tranny. Actor Jesse James cheated on classy Hollywood actress Sandra Bullock with this…thing. This ghoul has been basking in the light of tabloid publicity for the past couple of weeks, and a few especially nasty details have surfaced:

    • Photographed posing in a full Nazi soldier uniform
    • Has the letters W.P. tattooed on her legs. It stands for White Power.
    • Starred in fetish videos like giant porn [men who love giant-ass women], goo porn [it is what it sounds like], and foot porn. Mmm, foot porn.

    Is there a fetish for scary plastic nazi trannies?

    Shauna Sand

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    Shauna Sand is a former Playboy model who can’t let go of her glamorous past and accept reality — she is aging, melting, and has three children to look after. Sand is often spotted prancing around town in the skimpiest outfits imaginable — all with her daughters in tow. There’s no denying that her children look horribly embarrassed. They’re old enough to know mom shouldn’t be wearing a mesh dress out on the street, and the paparazzi undoubtedly make remarks not meant for their sweet little ears to hear. Sand, of course, loves the attention and is never one to turn photographers away. She even asked her nine year old daughter whether she’d like to be in Playboy herself in front of filming paps. Her daughter’s answer was thick with disgust.

    Sand’s class parade continues on and on. A wardrobe malfunction left her nipple, numb from the butchery of countless plastic surgeries, sticking out of her dress while being photographed in her car. Sand’s daughter is seated in the passenger seat, looking understandably upset. Finally, anyone who promotes and markets their own sex tape sounds pretty trashy. Especially because it was only a few years ago, when Sand’s daughters were between the ages of 8 and 11.

    Tila Tequila

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    Tila Tequila is a whorish midget famous for just that and nothing else. She had a reality show called ‘A Shot At Love’ in which boys and girls competed for the bisexual girl’s completely authentic and totally-not-faked love. If making out with other overly tattooed and plastic surgieried monsters for fifteen minutes of VH1 fame doesn’t make Tila trash, there are plenty of other things that do. Like milking her ‘girlfriend’ Casey Johnson’s untimely death over twitter for publicity. As Tila sent out messages to convey her sadness and grieving to the rest of the world [in under 140 characters, of course], it became more and more obvious that her lack of class reigned supreme over anything resembling dignity and respect.

    Tequila is one fake tittied troll who would do almost anything for attention. She faked her own pregnancy and staged a photoshoot at a store where she carried around a fake baby doll in preparation, like any normal and self-respecting mother-to-be. Tila then faked her own miscarriage, claiming she would soon adopt a child from a third world country. How ironic. A child rescued from the jaws of poverty and famine only to be thrown into a world of relentless materialism and stupidity.

    Finally, Tila’s mouth is monumentally larger than she. She’s talked trash on other crappy, irrelevant celebrities just like herself. She’s accused her bodyguards of divulging personal details regarding their former celebrity clients — a claim they refuted in the only press release the company’s ever written. It stated that Tila Tequila was an extremely troubled young woman suffering from heaps of drug abuse, a person who needed help before it was ‘too late.’ They also dismissed all of her claims as malicious and untrue. Here’s a video she made of herself incoherently ranting while on a drug binge.

    Octomom

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    Octomom tried to trademark her own name, Octomom. She’s totally full of herself, and her entire gimmick is simply adding to the overpopulation of this earth. She had eight children while living in her mother’s house on welfare, and then tried to make a reality show about the trials and tribulations of her sick, overindulgent life. Child welfare services have investigated her on more than one occasion.

    One would think that Octomom should be sympathetic toward Kate Gosselin, another retard with too many kids and a reality show about them. However, Octomom felt differently, and trash-talked her ‘rival’ by claiming Kate was staging ‘candid’ photo-ops and didn’t possess the nice body that Octomom has. She also told tabloids a story about making her own mother ride in the trunk of the car when there wasn’t enough room in the back — she seemed to think it was pretty funny. That’s just cruel.

    Octomom is one to talk about staged shoots; here she is posing in a bikini on the beach. Reports from nurses have claimed that Octomom cares way more about television appearances than her own babies, and only visits them when the tapes are rolling. There is recent buzz that she may ‘have to appear in porn‘ to keep her house from being foreclosed upon. It sounds like someone’s a little too resistant to getting a real job like the rest of the world. This semi-celebrity doesn’t have to do porn, and her participation in it would be out of desire because she’s a trashy attention whore who would eat her own babies on live television just for another fifteen minutes of fame.

    Jamiee Grubbs

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    Everyone knows that by selling Tiger Woods’ text messages to the tabloids, mistress Jamiee Grubbs made a fortune. But who thinks about the woman behind this mess? She voluntarily publicized messages in which Tiger basically taunted Grubbs for being a slut, saying she only watched football for the ‘big black guys.’ Grubbs, a porn star, was also unable to tell Tiger what she preferred sexually — other than DP. That stands for Double Penetration. Her most favorite thing is getting railed by two dudes at once, and she told her part-time boyfriend this even when he was clearly trying to illicit any other response (see: “you said dp already, but what else?”).

    She’s published the messages where Tiger details ways in which he would like to abuse her in bed, rough her up and treat her like an item he ‘owns’. To each their own; this wouldn’t be so bad if she had kept it to herself like any decent, self-respecting human being.

    Snooki

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    Looking at a picture of Snooki may explain her trashiness better than any words ever could. She enthusiastically flashes her panties on the dance floor. She pole dances at the club. She even dances on the boardwalk, alone, to try and get the attention of her ex boyfriend. He laughs at her.

    Snooki is a reality television star from the infamous Jersey Shore, a VH1 series that follows cast members through a summer spent living together in a house at the New Jersey Shore. On the very first night, Snooki gets completely wasted and tries to make out with various boys in the house. She strips in the hot tub, and then promptly passes out in there afterward. Everyone else leaves her behind to go out drinking, since her bedtime was only a sweet 11 PM.

    From the beginning, Snooki’s on a quest for love, or whatever you would call finding a ‘juicehead’ [what she has stated to be her ideal man] at the club before convincing him to drunkenly bang her at what is basically the show’s frat house. The first guy Snooki brought home got sick and threw up on himself before she walked him home like his mother. The second guy become disinterested after the first date and ignored her calls before finally having an incredibly awkward, unenthusiastic phone conversation about how he ‘might’ be able to make it if he doesn’t have to work late (see: obvious hints that say “I really just don’t like you”).

    After the show was over, what was a trashy attention whore to do? Take awkward looking nudes, spread a rumor about the creation of said nudes, deny nudes ever exist, release nudes. All of these actions were performed between carefully calculated intervals as to prolong her fifteen minutes for as long as she could.

    Pamela Anderson

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    Look at that picture. How is this woman still alive?

    Danny Bonaduce

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    Danny Bonaduce is the little trainwreck that just couldn’t. He started out as a child star, acting in The Partridge Family during adolescence. Not long after that ship had sailed, Bonaduce was arrested in 1990 on drunk driving charges. It was foreshadowing to a long road of crazy antics and various drug addictions. In 1991, he was arrested for allegedly punching a man during a bar brawl. He was also apprehended for assaulting a prostitute after finding out he was a transvestite. Bonaduce’s been in and out of rehab for cocaine and alcohol, and much of his alcoholism was documented on his reality show, Breaking Bonaduce. Bonaduce was often seen in an inebriated state, humiliating himself in one way or another. He constantly berated his wife, starting explosive fights during bouts of unwarranted jealousy. In one episode, Bonaduce makes an impromptu appearance at one of her band practices, angered that she’s merely in the presence of other males. But Bonaduce seems unaware of the humiliation he’s caused himself with insecurities and addictions, and continued to insult her even after they got divorced — he does it on his own radio show even after the divorce. It was the same one he was later fired from because he couldn’t manage to show up on time. Bonaduce’s co-host began to hate him after a while, and he was promptly removed.

    Steve-O

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    Steve-O: America’s favorite drug addict. Steve-O, a graduate of clown college, is most famous for his involvement in the TV/movie phenomenon known as Jackass. The point of Jackass was to perform ridiculous stunts which more than likely would result in injury, but Steve-O’s role was slightly different in the way that his antics typically involved physically modifying his body or appearance in a humiliating, sometimes permanent way. He was like the kid you could tell to do anything and know they would do it before even asking. He got a tattoo while riding in the back of a jeep driving over a rocky path. Steve-O has waxed his eyebrows together, pierced his butt shut, stapled his balls to his legs, and stuck a fish hook through his cheek.

    Steve-O was almost always wasted. His episode of MTV Crib’s toured his dingy, filthy apartment where he lived alone. While his friends from Jackass had moved onto normal lives after the show’s end, Steve-O continued to live in squalor and be incredibly self destructive. In a 2009 bio-documentary appropriately titled “Steve-O: Rise and Demise”, Steve-O openly used drugs like nitrous oxide to cocaine. During one part of the film, Steve-O is shown having a seizure as a result of his rampant nitrous oxide abuse. He’s been arrested on multiple occasions for things like swallowing a condom full of drugs.

    Trying to reclaim the spotlight, Steve-O started performing awful rap songs, which were completely unsuccessful. In a 2007 appearance on the Adam Corolla show, Stevo is so drunk he can’t form a coherent sentence. He curses, kicks through a glass coffee table, and is escorted offstage.

    Jesse Camp

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    Remember that filthy, grungy guy from the first TRL “Wanna be a VJ?” competition? He was Jesse Camp, a street rat whose sentences all sounded like a single word. Camp was known for looking dirty, shabby, and homeless, which many people believed he was. It was a facade, and though Camp even told his fans that he had been homeless for some time, the rumor was untrue. Camp always looked like a space cadet, and incessantly slurred when he spoke. Camp had attended a reputable prep school called Loomis Chaffee in his home state of Connecticut. The fake homeless kid ended his stint on MTV after only a year, when the VJ gigs ended, as did his short-lived show, Lunch With Jesse.

    In 2008, Jesse was filmed outside his long lost love — TRL. He took his dick out for the camera. Some girl yells out that it’s really small. It was a sad testament to how badly he wanted what had ended with his fifteen minutes — attention. Around the same time, Camp was also filmed wandering the streets of LA and looking legitimately homeless this time. Since quitting his job at a local pet shop earlier that year, his employment status has been unknown.

    Anna Nicole Smith

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    Anna Nicole has been dead for a while, but her trashiness was so abundant that she’s still made it onto this list even after a few years have passed. Anna Nicole Smith was a high school dropout from Texas, and first became famous for her feature in a 1993 issue of Playboy. Smith is notorious for having married a multi-millionaire 63 years older than she, a man she met while working the pole in a Houston strip club. When her husband died, the large portion he had left Smith in his will was denied to her. Smith did would any loving, grieving widow with already questionable intentions would do: create an epic fiasco by taking the matter to court for a months long battle.

    Besides Smith’s choice to sell herself to some old guy for money, she got horribly addicted to drugs for years until finally overdosing on a myriad of pills. Although she did a great job of raising a son, Daniel, who also overdosed on drugs — he died when he was only 17 — shortly after she had another child. She’s caught on film wearing clown makeup, sounding confused and asking if ‘this were a mushroom trip’. Seriously. Smith’s wasted camera appearance was a repeated one, and the public came to expect drunken, incoherent speeches like the one where she rants about Jesus.

    Heidi Montag

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    Heidi Montag is another disposable reality television clone, famous for her role as a shallow debutante on The Hills. Montag has defended herself as a morally upright Christian, although she did spread a rumor that Hills co-star Lauren Conrad had a sex tape circulating around. Montag has admitted an addiction to plastic surgery, and acknowledges that her last out of a total ten almost got her killed:

    “I had too much Demerol like Michael Jackson did and my breathing was five breaths per minute which is like almost dead.”

    She’s had so many surgeries that she literally couldn’t move her face during one interview. There are pictures of her looking totally expressionless or morbidly sad, it’s hard to tell. But really, it’s just that her plastic face is frozen into one position only. She actually used to be cute, but now looks like a hot dog with little gumballs pushed under a slit in its skin. Montag also took a stab at pop music, spending the majority of her savings to create an album that she said would revolutionize pop music. It sold less than 1000 copies.

    Britney Spears

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    How could one even mention the word ‘trash’ without thinking of Britney Spears? Her trashiness is so out of control it can only be comprehensively summarized in list form. Britney’s life includes:

    • Britney’s bodyguard found her demented and rambling in a dirty hotel room next to meth paraphernalia.
    • She lost custody of her children after testimonies in court that she had left them unattended beside a pool, spent little time with them, gave them to a nurse or maid if they cried, and was generally uninterested and neglectful.
    • Shaved her head during a freakout in which she attacked a paparazzi’s vehicle with an umbrella.
    • Was air lifted to the loony bin.
    • Photographed almost dropping her baby.
    • Ruining expensive dresses at a photoshoot by wiping her greasy fried chicken hands on them. She had also shown up late and spent over an hour in the bathroom. Then she asked if the ceiling was falling down on her.
    • Frequently neglects to wear a bra, dresses like a redneck meth addict.
    • Is under court ordered conservatorship – her father has the same rights over her he would if she were under 18.
    • Allegations from the bodyguards accused her of frequent nakedness, child neglect, drug abuse, poor personal hygiene.
    • Has a song about how much she loves threesomes called “Three.”

    Lindsay Lohan

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    Lindsay Lohan is a child movie star who dived deep into drug addiction after her adolescence. She’s infamous for her unprofessionalism, showing up to photoshoots late, being overly spoiled bitch. Arrested multiple times on DUI and drug charges, Lohan has been in and out of various rehabs but still continues to drink and party. She’s been captured on film doing drugs and looking like a wasted, sometimes passed out, mess.

    In 2009, Lohan mentored a fashion line that failed miserably, and soon after had the audacity to try and pass off another designer’s stockings as her own. Her crappy reputation has left her fading quickly from the Hollywood scene – no one wants to deal with her antics anymore, especially since her diminishing talents have left her virtually useless. Standing around and looking nice isn’t an option anymore, either — Lohan appears disgruntled and sloppy in all of her recent photos, despite claims that she’s ‘clean’ and doing well.

    Lohan’s publicity stunts, or ways of yelling ‘look at me!’ after realizing people are becoming disinterested in her bratty schtick, include: being the victim of a fake robbery (she was caught on tape robbing her own house), tweeting a topless photo of herself (NSFW), and attempting to sue E*Trade over a light and jovial reference to her in one of their commercials. Get over it, Lindsay.


  • VIDEO: What You Don’t Know About Lindsay Lohan

    Think you know everything there is to know about Lindsay Lohan? Test your knowledge on the celebrity game show Starlicious.

    Watch it here.


  • 15 Lies Men Tell Their Girlfriends

    Men lie to women and women lie to men, but the opposing sexes go about these things in different ways. Women usually tend to lie in order to spare feelings and make people feel better — or to keep the peace. At the center of the male lie is, most commonly, either his ego or his unwillingness to cause drama, or to get in trouble — but both parties are almost always guilty of lying to conceal something. Consistent lying can tear two people apart, no matter the intention, so we’ve gathered 15 examples of lies men tell their girlfriends. Watch out for these, no matter which end of the lie you’re at.



    “I can fix it.”

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    Let’s be honest: Men love to think they can fix anything. It’s practically programmed into their genetics. Even if they don’t know how to fix something, it’s very likely that they won’t admit to it, to save their ego. Remember to question whether or not he really can fix what he says he can, to avoid some ridiculous bathroom flooding disaster. If he doesn’t have the requisite skills, then hire a professional, or let him learn how the proper way before ruining something.



    “You look great in anything!”

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    This lie is a classic example of a man trying to cover his ass, but sadly, it’s one of the “good” lies men tell — he’s just trying to be nice. It’s not even reasonable to think that a woman would look great in every outfit — no matter how hot she is. Some women simply fail at fashion, or at least have some sort of blunder at one time or another. Not to mention, most women don’t have personal stylists like Hollywood celebs do, so failure happens more often than we like to think. It’s just best to be honest about what she’s wearing, to save her — and you — from later embarrassment.



    “I wasn’t looking [at that ridiculously hot girl.]“

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    Another common one, though this is a simple White Lie, it can seriously piss off your girlfriend. She knows you were looking, she saw you looking, and even she was looking at that ridiculously hot girl. If your girlfriend confronts you about looking at another woman, don’t lie, hopefully you’ll remember something about her and make an innocent comment about her cute haircut. Maybe you’ll avoid a blow up. Otherwise, just get better at checking other women out on the sly.



    “I tried to call you.”

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    This is a pretty pathetic lie, but men — and women — still use it. Men will try to blame it all on some technical difficulty, hoping his girlfriend will get confused and stop questioning it, but the lazy men will leave it simply at this excuse. If your boyfriend uses this one on you, then he was probably doing something he shouldn’t have been, like that new girl at work. Or, he simply could have forgotten all about you — but at that point, is there a difference?



    “I won’t be able to call you. I won’t have signal.”

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    Another pathetic lie that both sexes are guilty of using, men will frequently take advantage of this one when: He has plans to go somewhere his girlfriend would disapprove of, he doesn’t want to call her in front of his single friends, or he just plain needs time away from her. Maybe he’s actually out in the mountains camping, and there will be no signal, but that’s not the case very often.



    “I only had a couple of beers.”

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    Men use this one when they don’t want to get in trouble. It’s completely ridiculous, because almost any girlfriend can tell when a guy has downed a whole six-pack and a few shots. We could chalk this one up to being a drunken lie, or maybe only a couple of beers were actually consumed while six shots were taken. Either way, you’re probably in trouble anyway if your girlfriend is drilling you about how much you had to drink, so you may as well ‘fess up to it. 



    “I’m stuck in traffic.”

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    So maybe everyone uses this lie at some point, but if a man tells his girlfriend that he’s “stuck in traffic,” he’s probably doing something he shouldn’t — again. At least with this lie, the man had the courtesy to keep in touch with his girlfriend — despite lying. If he says he’s stuck in traffic, then a girlfriend can assume he’ll be home within a couple hours (usually). He might be off at the arcade, grabbing a quick beer with his buds, doing the secretary, or he could really be in traffic were this lie told in a place like LA or Atlanta. Whether it will work or not depends on the girlfriend and how often the lie is used, so if you’re the type of guy to go this route, do so sparingly.



    “Nothing’s wrong.”

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    In most cases, women and men are very different about how they express emotion, especially when it comes to something that’s bothering them. Some women will take this route as well, but men are the usual suspects because they like to protect their egos. They like to deal with things — fix things — themselves. We all know that men can’t fix everything, so it goes to say that they can’t fix everything that’s bothering them. So, what happens if a man says this? Usually it’s best for the girlfriend to just leave it alone, and support him in other ways — maybe throw in a sexual favor or two. If it gets bad, then it comes time to crack down on the silly emo business and force him to talk about it.



    “I love your cooking.”

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    This lie is pretty easy to see through, but somehow men still think it works. It may with some women, but others will be able to tell when her boyfriend isn’t enjoying the food. This is another attempt for a man to stroke his girlfriend’s ego in whatever way he can — but if you hate her cooking, just be honest. Maybe offer some constructive criticism, or suggest your favorite dish and a family recipe. Basically, if you do nothing about it you might be stuck with it for a long, long time.



    “I make [obscene number]! We’ll be fine.”

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    Whether or not chivalry is really dead doesn’t matter — most men still feel paternalistic about the women they love. This lie is usually used to rid a girlfriend of worry, but it does way more harm than good. Once she finds out the truth (and she will), then all that trust and comfort you built up will be torn down, while she stresses out about the new financial issues that just “cropped up.” And many women like to hold grudges, so you may or may not be screwed. Being honest about your work situation will do far more good than harm — it’s always nice to have a teammate. If she bolts when she finds out you don’t make enough to satisfy her retail therapy needs, then you win in the long run.



    “It doesn’t bother me if you forget to shave your legs.”

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    Men like to make their girlfriends feel like they love them for more than looks, because it creates a sense of security. Even if a man is completely in love with his girlfriend, and says that he doesn’t mind if she forgets to shave anything, he’s just being nice. Men don’t want to caress their girlfriend’s legs just to be reminded of his own hairy body. In fact, using this lie could be dangerous. Imagine if your girlfriend takes you seriously and just never shaves her legs again? You should support her grooming habits by being honest, and you’ll only benefit in the long term.



    “Trust me, I’d never lie to you!”

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    It’s sad that we had to put this one on the list, but men use it, and women actually believe it. A man’s girlfriend may be so completely enamored that she turns blind to a clearly bullshit-lie like this one. Basically, if anyone has to tell you they’d never lie, they probably are lying. They might as well say, “don’t trust me, I’d definitely lie to you.”



    “I love spending time with your mom.”

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    When a man tells his girlfriend this, it usually means that he’s trying pretty hard to make her fall in love with him — and will say anything to make it happen. Excepting the rare case that a man truly likes his girlfriend’s mom, most men don’t go out of their way spending girl time with her mom anyway. Unfortunately for many women, they’re usually too flattered by the comment to notice that her boyfriend is lying through his teeth. Everything is revealed through body language — so keep an eye out on your boyfriend to see if he’s lying or not.



    “I’ll fix the garbage disposal as soon as my back stops hurting.”

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    This is a perfect example of a lie men use as “hassle prevention.” Men don’t like nagging girlfriends, so they use lies like these to avoid the nagging and hold it off as long as possible. These lies are fine to use every once in a while, and even women — seeing through them anyway — will just let their boyfriends slide, until it becomes a habit. Keep that in mind and use this one when you really need to, or you may find yourself single again.



    “I don’t think of other women.”

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    If you’ve ever tried to not think of something, chances are, you had a hard time. When men tell their girlfriends that they “never think of other women,” they’re lying — simple as that. Really, it’s unreasonable to expect a guy to keep the opposite sex out of his head 24 hours a day. There may come a time when a man thinks of another woman to spice things up, but it doesn’t mean he loves his girlfriend any less — at least, not usually. They just can’t help it, it’s a fact of life — but that doesn’t mean women should be dimwitted enough to believe this one.


  • 15 Female Celebs Most Often Mistaken for Transsexuals

    Sure, there are plenty of ugly celebrities out there, but there is a fine line between ugly and “she look like a man“. Call us shallow all you want, but it gets to a point where you’ve got to ask yourself — why on earth are these women printed in magazines and cited for their sex appeal? Sometimes it just doesn’t add up, and these are the 15 female celebs most often mistaken for trannies. They say beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, but you’ve gotta draw the line somewhere.

    Pink

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Pink, known as Alecia to her parents, is unique in that she once had the ability to look feminine, even hot at times. Unfortunately, as the years wear on, she’s just growing more manly by the album. She started off questionably decent in a bad girl sort of way, but now she may as well change her stagename from Pink to Blue, because she’s exuding more testosterone than some men even produce. If her look gets any more butch, she’s bound to grow a set of testicles — and people might start leaving the very feminine (though downright odd) Lady GaGa alone.


    Lil’ Kim

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Nobody ever said Lil’ Kim wasn’t trashy, in fact she’s pretty much made a career out of it. We’re starting to think that it wasn’t just because she’s naturally nasty in the sex department, but because it’s all she had to go on. Despite countless hours with Hollywood’s plastic surgeons, she’s only making matters worse. She used to look rough, now she’s cruising trannytown.


    Sandra Bernhard

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How Sandra Bernhard managed to get a spot in Playboy we’ll never know, but the fact that she did only makes this list more poignant. Seriously, she was in the September issue of 1992, and the thought of actually looking is somewhat terrifying. This woman has always looked like a man, and she’s only getting more manly with age. It won’t be long before she looks more like Quentin Tarantino than Quentin Tarantino does — only taller.


    Sarah Jessica Parker

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Yes, we all call her horse-faced. It’s true, she is a horse-face, but more to the point — she’s a manface. Sarah Jessica Parker isn’t just a troll that cursed both television and movies by infecting them with her fugliness, but she’s a troll who looks like Dee Snyder and somehow gets countless magazines and websites to host photo shoots in an attempt to glam her up, and act like she’s sexy just to appease the millions of fools who make up her fan base. 


    Tilda Swinton

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Her parents must have known just how androgynous Tilda would be when they named her after the one symbol in our alphabet that basically means eh, sorta. She’s a great actress, don’t get us wrong, and she’s nowhere near as physically hard on the eyes as, say, Sarah Jessica Parker’s Dee Snyder Trollface. It’s just that she looks so much like a man that she was cast as the technically-androgynous-yet-traditionally-masculine Gabriel the Archangel in Constantine. That pretty much sums things up.


    Donnatella Versace

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She may be the Chief Designer of the Versace fashion line, but Donnatella herself is just plain fugly. There really isn’t any other word for it, unless you count things like manly and tore up. It really doesn’t matter how great the woman’s body may have been once upon a time, she’s always had a face that screams post-op, and she’s only making it worse with every hour of plastic surgery she goes through.


    Rosie O’Donnell

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We were going to use this picture for Rosie as a joke, but found the one above to be even more effective since it’s not  even photoshopped. This is a woman who has never been attractive, so far as the world knows, has never been more than marginally entertaining, and does not have a good attitude — so why on earth is she so famous? We don’t know, but we’re glad that the world seems to have finally had enough of her manfaced shenanigans.


    Joanie “Chyna” Laurer

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Chyna is about as scary manly as they get, and if you think she looks mannish now, check her out before plastic surgery. Memories are short, and medicine is pretty advanced these days, but damn. The fact that her current “feminized” appearance is ten times better than how bad she was before she wizened up to the fact that steroids don’t look so good on chicks is disturbing, to say the least. If you think that’s harsh, just think about the fact that this woman’s made loads of money marketing sex appeal. Now vomit.


    Janet Reno

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Yes, Janet Reno jokes are so last decade, but that doesn’t make them any less funny; not when we’re listing off a column of manly women, anyway. Janet Reno was the first female Attorney General of the United States. That’s great for women everywhere, right? Wrong. Women thought she was a man, and men averted their gaze when she entered the room because it hurt to look at her.


    Lizzie Grubman

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Lizzie Grubman is not an actress or singer, but a publicist who got famous because her parents were rich and famous. She scored a few big-name clients like Britney Spears and Jay-Z, so she became a celebrity publicist. Now she’s a publicist who was already mildy famous, who now thinks she’s Hollywood Hot Stuff, and walks around LA like she’s a fashion icon. The kicker is that she doesn’t seem to realize that the whole world thinks she’s a dude.


    Serena Williams

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Reigning tennis champion Serena Williams is great at playing tennis. Nobody will argue this, because she mops the floor with just about everyone who goes up against her. The problem is that she is ruining the best part of the sport; tennis is fun to watch for the hot tennis girls, wearing short tennis skirts and grunting/whimpering/screaming like they’re having an hour long romp in the sack. Serena Williams causes televisions to turn off all on their own, to save the screen from cracking under the pressure of her severe manliness. If she scared you, just take a quick look at Maria Sharapova to set your eyes straight.


    Jocelyn Wildenstein

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Contrary to popular belief, Jocelyn Wildenstein did not play Cat Woman in any Batman films or series. She is simply called the Cat Woman because she looks like a puma that got run over by a truck. She grew up filthy rich and became Hollywood famous for her ridiculous number of plastic surgeries, amounting to upwards of four million dollars worth of procedures. No matter what she has done, she only ever looks more like a tranny, and scarier than ever.


    Jamie Lee Curtis

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Jamie Lee Curtis fans — cool your jets. We’re not saying she’s a tranny, and we’re not saying that she’s a bad actress. We loved her character in Trading Places, and she pretty much made Halloween work all by herself. The problem is that, even back in the days of Halloween, there were whispers about Jamie’s mannish looks. She can glam it up, some, but when it comes down to it she’s got the build of a skinny body-building dude, and a face that doesn’t exactly scream femme.


    Hilary Swank

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This girl can glam it up with the best of them, assuming she has an army of beauticians on hand to do the hours of work required to accomplish such a feat. She’s beyond fugly and always has been, and she does everything she can to keep it from being wholly apparent to her hordes of loyal fans. Fact is, she looks like Peter Weller, and it’s just plain irksome to see her used in countless ads for beauty products when they clearly didn’t work on her.


    k.d. lang (Yes, Lower Case)

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k.d. lang — purposely left without capital letters because she thinks she’s the more masculine, folksy version of Prince — is a Canadian singer/songwriter who has won a veritable slew of high-honor awards in her career. She just recently sang “Halleluja” at the opening ceremony of the Winter Games in Vancouver, and she has a huge fan base. The confusing part is why she doesn’t just go ahead and get the operation already, because she literally appears to be a man. She likes to tout herself as some sort of poster… (posterboy? postergirl?) Advocate of LBGT rights, which is just fine and dandy, but she’s confusing the hell out of us in the meantime.



  • Has Natalie Holloway’s Body Finally Been Found?

    A baffling missing person case that has haunted and intrigued people around the world for years may soon be solved, but sadly, there may never be justice.

    Alabama teen Natalie Holloway disappeared nearly five years ago in Aruba. The 18-year-old was on a graduation trip and was last seen leaving Carlos’n Charlie’s night club on May 30, 1995 with three young men she had met and partied with that night.

    One of the men, Joran van der Sloot, is the main suspect in Natalie’s disappearance. For most of the last five years, van der Sloot’s father, who was a judge in Aruba, used his clout to protect him from prosecution. Joran’s dad not only protected him in this case — even after a recorded confession — but also prevented authorities from prosecuting him for allegedly running a sex slave market. In that case, Joran was also caught on hidden camera, making arrangements to transport young Thai girls out of the country to work as indentured prostitutes. What a guy.

    However, Joran’s daddy died on February 11, 2010 and almost before his body was cold Joran began to talk — a lot — about Natalie’s death and what he did with her body.

    While not the first time he’s confessed to disposing of Natalie’s body, during his confession on February 26, 2010, he knew he was being recorded by Dutch television station RTL-5, so he turned on the tears. In his most recent version of the story, Joran says Natalie fell off a balcony after doing cocaine and died from the accident, so he and an accomplice dumped her body in a swamp.

    In 2008, he told interviewer Peter De Vries, who posed as a friend to get the scoop (and won an international Emmy for his sex traffiking footage of Joran), that she had died on the beach after having sex with him. He casually explained that he then beat her body to try to revive her, and when that didn’t work he gave up on the “bitch” and called a friend with a boat for help with getting rid of her corpse. This candid taped confession was rejected as evidence and prosecutors believe his most recent confession is pure fiction as well.

    The world may never know what happened to Natalie, but new news reports indicate that her skeletal remains may have been found. Still, it seems unlikely that Dutch authorities will ever pursue a case against Joran van der Sloot.

    A Pennsylvania couple recently came forward with a photograph they believe could be Natalie’s remains. The underwater picture was taken by Patti Muldowney in October 2009 while she and her husband were vacationing in Aruba. The Muldowneys say they did not notice a body at the time, but upon reviewing their pictures they noticed what may be Natalie. They sent the picture to the FBI and it has been forwarded to Dutch authorities. However, the FBI will not become involved in the investigation unless they are requested to do so.


  • 15 Celebrities With Famously Fake Knockers (Before and After)

    These days, it’s not uncommon — and is now even encouraged — to enhance beauty through artificial means. Celebrities have ridden this wave for a long time, and one of the most popular procedures is the infamous breast enhancement. It’s become such a norm these days that it’s hard to even keep track of which starlets have real breasts and which of them don’t. The percentage of plastic is growing, but some celebs — and their chests — stand out more than others. Here are 15 famous celebrities with memorable artificial knockers; before, and after, their procedure.

    Heidi Montag

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    “Reality” celeb turned annoying Hollywood fixture Heidi Montag has gone under the knife quite a number of times for a woman of only 23 years. She was recently quoted as saying how she’s absolutely beyond obsessed with “being perfect.” After she landed her role on The Hills, it wasn’t long after that she sought a nose job and breast augmentation. Fine, she was as flat as a surfboard, and maybe she felt insecure — but she didn’t stop there. In November 2009, she went under the knife for 10 hours to get everything tweaked — from her eyebrows to her thighs. Her rack was pumped up to a DDD cup, and she says she wants them even bigger. Many are saying that it’s now closer to addiction than anything else.

    Victoria Backham

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    Ex Spice Girl Victoria Beckham got her first boob job in 1999 when a London clinic brought her up from a flat 34A to a 34D — and she didn’t stop there. Two years later she went back to up her cup size to 34DD, which is far too large for such a petite frame. They turned out to be ridiculously bad bolt-on boobs, and she eventually realized it. In June 2009 she had her implants reduced a bit, back to a reasonable 34B. The damage is done, at least, the retinal damage that we all suffered with every shot of her chest.

    Pamela Anderson

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    Pamela Anderson might as well be the patron saint for fake boobies. She shot to fame in the 1990s when she posed for Playboy, showing off her massive rack. She shocked everyone in 1999 when she had them removed, but went back to her previous size in 2004 when she realized she couldn’t get anywhere without them, and didn’t feel like “herself.” Well, that’s not surprising. She was gorgeous before her tweakings, but we guess you can thank her for sparking the big boob craze — not.

    Lindsay Lohan

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    Lindsay Lohan has grown up before our eyes — she was so cute when she was younger, leaving many of us asking ourselves — what happened? She blossomed nicely, but that just wasn’t enough for her. She supposedly got implants when she was only 17, but she didn’t hesitate denying it at every chance she got. Experts say, yes, she did, but her rep says no. All we know is that she showed up one day with a distinctly different bra size. It’s also been rumored that she got the implants reduced a bit — we’re guessing to match her new cracked-out skinny look.

    Britney Spears

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    Another celeb that grew up and went crazy right in front of our eyes, ex-Mouseketeer Britney Spears’ breasts have gone on just as big a roller coaster ride as the rest of her. After the success of her debut album in 2000, Spears got a breast augmentation, but later on had them reduced to smaller-size implants. It was a good move, really, because when she started making babies, her boobs got pretty big all on their own, and they’ve stayed a reasonable size since.

    Tila Tequila

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    Tila Tequila got her new boobies around the time she turned 18. It wasn’t subtle at all — if you’ve ever seen her topless pictures, you’d see why. They don’t just stand like that on their own. Aside from that, at least she didn’t go too big for her frame, upping her size from an A cup to a B cup. Let’s hope she keeps it that way!

    Amy Winehouse

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    Amy Winehouse used to be normal looking — relatively filled out and healthy. At some point she let her life go down the toilet, and it took her looks with it. She’s since gotten better, and this past October she ordered up some new boobs to go with it. Her rack apparently cost a whopping $56,000 and Mitch Winehouse, her father, doesn’t know how she paid for it — since she always asks him for money. Maybe she’s secretly still mega-rich, and hoarding her money for more work… Or drugs.

    Christina Aguilera

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    Another Mousketeer all grown up, pop star Christina Aguilera shares something with her counterpart, Britney Spears. Not head shaving, or umbrella assaults, but Aguilera boosted her rack as well — from an A cup to a C cup. She recovered from that terrible “Dirty” phase, and has kept her lovely knockers. Look closely though, seems like a little slip-up on the surgeon’s part — she has a dent!

    Janet Jackson

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    Singer Janet Jackson has shown her fair share of boob — from her famous Rolling Stone cover to her infamous nip slip during the Super Bowl. Whether or not you liked what she did, one thing is for sure: Her knockers aren’t real. She hasn’t confirmed breast augmentation, but you don’t just grow large breasts out of nowhere — and it’s not like plastic surgery is exactly an oddity for her, either. Oh, and check out the great dent in her boob. Maybe she shares Christina Aguilera’s doctor.

    Jewel

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    Don’t get us wrong, singer Jewel is gorgeous, but something has gone seriously wrong with her boobs, and we kinda feel bad. She had a nice rack before she opted for augmentation, and fans definitely noticed the change when she released her Intuition album. She’s since gotten her implants removed or reduced, but it seems like she didn’t have the intuition to get the botched surgery fixed, and it just doesn’t look so hot.

    Nicole Richie

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    Socialite and reality star Nicole Richie got a boob job back in 2006, and we’re glad she did. Before then, between the lack of rack and anorexia, she looked like a pre-pubescent boy. At least she opted for a slight bump up in cup size, since it suits her figure — any bigger and she might fall over. Hopefully she leaves it at that.

    Kellie Pickler

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    Kelli Pickler, of American Idol fame, went under the knife pretty quickly once under the heat of the spotlight. She showed off her new ladies at a return performance on the show in 2007, but has denied having the procedure. She’s not a very good liar, because growth like that doesn’t just happen that quickly. She even told radio and TV host Ryan Seacrest that she wants to keep the mystery going about her boobs — because she likes the attention. Kelli Pickler likes the attention. There’s a truism if ever there was one.

    Sarah Jessica Parker

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    Horseface actress Sarah Jessica Parker should have gone under the knife for reasons other than her breasts, honestly. Anyone who thinks that her Oscars dress pushed up her natural boobs that flawlessly needs to get their eyes checked. The only thing she had before was saggy skin to push up. Her procedure gave her a pair of boobs that look more like cement-filled balloons than anything we’d want to touch.

    Tara Reid

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    American Pie actress Tara Reid got her implants because of her uneven breasts — the right one was noticeably bigger than the left. Sounded simple enough, but soon afterward, she began appearing on lists of “ugliest boob jobs ever.” Not only that, but her implants actually put her life in danger. Reid opted with special soy bean oil implants that have been taken off the market in English-speaking countries and Canada since 1999 due to complications resulting in death. When she started showing symptoms of complications she had to have them removed — and had she known how things would turn out, she would have never had the surgeries, she has said.

    Tori Spelling

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    Actress Tori Spelling got her first set of implants around the time of season two of Beverly Hills 90210. She’s been through several other augmentations, probably due to the changes her body went through after having children. Or just because she looked like a hag back then and was tired of having no personality and getting shunned on the strip. We’re left to wonder though, after going through such procedures, why wouldn’t she just fix her concave sternum already? It’s a simple procedure, and it would keep her chest from looking like someone took a chunk out of it with an ice cream scoop.