It is much easier to have cookie cutter children that children who are different. Now, few of the people I know actually have cookie cutter children but some seem to be a little more out of the box than others.
Children who have autism, aspergers, learning difficulties, touch sensitivities, gifted, or are just plain creative are harder to raise than “average ” kids…whatever they are. It takes more thought, more understanding , more patience, and more prayers that raising a child who is average BUT it is also one of the most rewarding things you will ever do.
Once you get past the need to explain yourself to everyone you come in contact with.
Although I have 8 unusual children Nick is the one that tends to create the most stir. Not only does he have a touch sensitivity (like me) but he is most comfortable with his hair long. Very long. Yes, he is a boy. Not many people look past his hair to see the caring and compassionate young man he is. Not many choose to spend the time to get to know him as the precocious 9 year old artist that he is.
He has touch sensitivities. He wears flip flops all year and there are certain textures he can’t handle. I understand this – I am the same way. He was out in this in his flip flops the day before Christmas:
In fact, I have had to deal with people, adults, being stupid and rude more than once. I find it not only irritating but horrifying that an adult can say and do things to a child that are totally inappropriate because the child is … a child. I have two sons with long hair. The older has been subjected to taunts, hair pulling, and disdain from adults, even those adults that have been in leadership in his life. Ridiculous. Nick has been yelled at for using the men’s bathroom and even when he repeatedly said he wasn’t a girl the person continued to harass him.
Raising a child who is different for any reason takes a lot of courage. It takes lot of courage because you seem to be constantly defending yourself and your child to other people. It shouldn’t be this way but it is.
After having done it for so long I have developed skills. Some of it is that I am fiercely loyal to my kids. If you accuse them of something you better be ready to prove it and if you are going to criticize them for something you better be able to convince me that you want what is best for them. If not the usually mild mannered me turns into a tigress.
You see, I believe in my kids. I want them to be individuals and I want them to be able to think outside the box. If allowing them to have longer hair or put a blue streak in their hair helps them do that then so be it. Can it go to far? Sure it can. But I am not going to create rules that don’t matter to me because someone else has issues with black fingernail polish.
The only rules I make are those that are important to me. Ethics. Character. Spirituality. I try to keep them simple so that my kids can develop into the men and women God envisions them to be.
Having a child who is different will get you”looks” in public. Sometimes it will get you comments. Try to let the comments roll off as much as you can. Try to avoid the feeling of intimidation that can come. After all, you are the parent. You know what is best for your child and you are responsible for seeing that you child grows into healthy adulthood.
Noone else walks in your shoes or deals with your life on a daily basis. Keep things in perspective and learn how to shoot the nay-sayers withering looks that will stop them in their tracks. What matters is on the inside of you and your child. Maybe if your critics understood that they would pay more attention to their own insides.
image: marye audet
Post from: Blisstree
