Filed under: Love & Relationships, Friends & Family, Advice, Happiness
According to a study co-written by Dr. Elizabeth Sharp – “I’m a Loser, I’m Not Married, Let’s All Just Look at Me” – women who are single into their mid-thirties are often made to feel like social pariahs by friends, family and co-workers. (“Why aren’t you married yet?” is a very popular question.) Here, Sharp, a single, 36-year-old associate professor of family studies at Texas Tech University who co-wrote the study explains what she found out about how single women are treated, and how it makes them feel.
Q: Can you explain what you found out by doing the study?
A: The study focused on messages these women got from their social environments. A lot of the messages were pretty pejorative and intrusive, and the major finding was that at this time in their life – ages 28 to 34 – there was a lot of focus on their single status. It underscored their visibility and invisibility. The invisibility is their actual life experience of not being married by a certain age; some people would just assume they had kids because they were 31. Their younger siblings were starting to marry and have kids, and this felt awkward and not natural. They don’t really have any visible role models. As for visibility, they felt like they were under a lot of public scrutiny for being single at their age. Co-workers would ask why they aren’t married. But it’s rare to ask someone why they got married or why they decided to have children. These women were dealing with the assumption that they would be a lot happier if they were married.
Q: Did you ask these women if they wanted to get married?
Continue reading How Single Woman Over 30 are Made to Feel Inferior
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